Texts From Last Night · ortiz29's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ortiz29's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.

Fav 2 828 532
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.

Fav 1 954 535
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How was it?

(847): View more from Illinois

Fantastic, but that's not the point.

Fav 206 89707 8268
share tweet
(510): View more from California

he said he didn't have a condom.

(415): View more from California

and you said?

(510): View more from California

that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

Fav 304 104239 6820
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

Fav 842 146086 10743
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

Fav 1 1099 451
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.

Fav 14 1161 688
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(779): View more from Illinois

He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.

Fav 3 1227 576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT