open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Send us your Text From Last Night!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Even my vagina gasped.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
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