i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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