Texts From Last Night

TikiShades's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you" http://tfl.nu/k4ce
  Replies (42) Good night (1102) Bad night (6445)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1586) Bad night (6437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards. http://tfl.nu/0s8j
  Replies (24) Good night (532) Bad night (6459) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8
  Replies (23) Good night (1573) Bad night (6444) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone http://tfl.nu/mgb2
  Replies (40) Good night (770) Bad night (6447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu
  Replies (40) Good night (1038) Bad night (6619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am
  Replies (45) Good night (1081) Bad night (6524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/laj1
  Replies (26) Good night (797) Bad night (6681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v
  Replies (40) Good night (2949) Bad night (6600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (360) Bad night (6570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance http://tfl.nu/wkwu
  Replies (52) Good night (1786) Bad night (6571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2
  Replies (28) Good night (2328) Bad night (6667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman" http://tfl.nu/jaxb
  Replies (79) Good night (1264) Bad night (6607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine. http://tfl.nu/4xx7
  Replies (8) Good night (460) Bad night (6556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch. http://tfl.nu/y4b9
  Replies (20) Good night (454) Bad night (6630)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier? http://tfl.nu/2449
  Replies (182) Good night (4962) Bad night (6660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (861) Bad night (6710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME http://tfl.nu/i706
  Replies (51) Good night (469) Bad night (6649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating http://tfl.nu/k15b
  Replies (30) Good night (837) Bad night (6677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker? http://tfl.nu/m2sw
  Replies (37) Good night (631) Bad night (6658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1234) Bad night (6760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Obama is so hot when he ends wars. http://tfl.nu/7ljv
  Replies (185) Good night (8818) Bad night (6820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it. (785): again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now. http://tfl.nu/6i8m
  Replies (35) Good night (1312) Bad night (6685)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place. http://tfl.nu/0x49
  Replies (39) Good night (611) Bad night (6634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce. http://tfl.nu/u935
  Replies (25) Good night (423) Bad night (6695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br
  Replies (79) Good night (1704) Bad night (6681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER. http://tfl.nu/jf69
  Replies (22) Good night (797) Bad night (6670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99... http://tfl.nu/p4eu
  Replies (32) Good night (1445) Bad night (6738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie http://tfl.nu/8h9i
  Replies (74) Good night (527) Bad night (6786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama. (770): WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?! http://tfl.nu/mh7d
  Replies (49) Good night (991) Bad night (6734)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1220) Bad night (6681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went http://tfl.nu/usqw
  Replies (32) Good night (808) Bad night (6709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door. http://tfl.nu/090e
  Replies (29) Good night (1900) Bad night (6673) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (769): View more from Mississippi

  she said she likes her vagina punished

  (1-769): View more from Mississippi

  being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (769): she said she likes her vagina punished (1-769): being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough http://tfl.nu/ts79
  Replies (35) Good night (1435) Bad night (6749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82809) Bad night (7565)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did http://tfl.nu/cili
  Replies (10) Good night (800) Bad night (6720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate. http://tfl.nu/beue
  Replies (40) Good night (962) Bad night (6744)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2139) Bad night (6787) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1203) Bad night (6786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby
  Replies (30) Good night (1399) Bad night (7054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf http://tfl.nu/5frw
  Replies (28) Good night (1006) Bad night (6793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job http://tfl.nu/934s
  Replies (13) Good night (1314) Bad night (6845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (997) Bad night (6853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever http://tfl.nu/f5uq
  Replies (35) Good night (458) Bad night (6736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/j7ur
  Replies (21) Good night (861) Bad night (6835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point http://tfl.nu/celc
  Replies (40) Good night (1693) Bad night (6840)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas. http://tfl.nu/lamz
  Replies (41) Good night (4128) Bad night (6995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious. http://tfl.nu/avof
  Replies (14) Good night (714) Bad night (6958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (943) Bad night (7059)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (702) Bad night (7048) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls. http://tfl.nu/qy86
  Replies (27) Good night (558) Bad night (6995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM" http://tfl.nu/3pco
  Replies (26) Good night (1409) Bad night (7077) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited (1-214): I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope http://tfl.nu/jd28
  Replies (93) Good night (1129) Bad night (7091)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike http://tfl.nu/sgnh
  Replies (23) Good night (915) Bad night (7100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d
  Replies (30) Good night (2580) Bad night (7223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1
  Replies (15) Good night (504) Bad night (7196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober. http://tfl.nu/8esm
  Replies (70) Good night (1464) Bad night (7272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS http://tfl.nu/k9df
  Replies (97) Good night (1354) Bad night (7294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/48s1
  Replies (58) Good night (3199) Bad night (7358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party. http://tfl.nu/pnyn
  Replies (21) Good night (1620) Bad night (7293) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Was it cool?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Was it cool? (1-904): About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon. http://tfl.nu/28fv
  Replies (31) Good night (458) Bad night (7306) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better. http://tfl.nu/qcgw
  Replies (79) Good night (3606) Bad night (7337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/a138
  Replies (60) Good night (2012) Bad night (7300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table. http://tfl.nu/iec6
  Replies (87) Good night (429) Bad night (7471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/opsu
  Replies (14) Good night (810) Bad night (7443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes http://tfl.nu/dswl
  Replies (84) Good night (3044) Bad night (7512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (2972) Bad night (7463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd
  Replies (16) Good night (1073) Bad night (7447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  I don't want it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU (1-609): I don't want it. http://tfl.nu/jvul
  Replies (36) Good night (873) Bad night (7526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?! http://tfl.nu/aect
  Replies (110) Good night (1504) Bad night (7584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax. http://tfl.nu/uaku
  Replies (13) Good night (982) Bad night (7481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom? http://tfl.nu/y1hl
  Replies (26) Good night (1044) Bad night (7509) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (769) Bad night (7557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
  Replies (75) Good night (845) Bad night (7664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li
  Replies (28) Good night (655) Bad night (7645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina. http://tfl.nu/3vsv
  Replies (78) Good night (2160) Bad night (7723)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy. http://tfl.nu/z1ta
  Replies (80) Good night (2276) Bad night (7734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary. http://tfl.nu/e3xl
  Replies (154) Good night (7685) Bad night (7945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh
  Replies (16) Good night (724) Bad night (7702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion http://tfl.nu/9p9w
  Replies (47) Good night (2179) Bad night (7752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left http://tfl.nu/4rhs
  Replies (20) Good night (757) Bad night (7649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (688) Bad night (7725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars.... http://tfl.nu/aa23
  Replies (15) Good night (1002) Bad night (7869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr
  Replies (15) Good night (753) Bad night (7749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  running late. just ran over a dude on a bike

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): running late. just ran over a dude on a bike http://tfl.nu/e4pf
  Replies (52) Good night (1869) Bad night (7776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (994) Bad night (7833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass. http://tfl.nu/otet
  Replies (35) Good night (614) Bad night (7788) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis. http://tfl.nu/2bxd
  Replies (35) Good night (915) Bad night (7798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure (1-651): you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/j2wt
  Replies (32) Good night (719) Bad night (7877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

  (714): View more from California

  he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot
  Replies (43) Good night (4305) Bad night (7973)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass http://tfl.nu/kbrv
  Replies (21) Good night (1054) Bad night (7819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  whatd she say to you?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u
  Replies (60) Good night (1652) Bad night (7921)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room http://tfl.nu/2egq
  Replies (50) Good night (1305) Bad night (7835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io
  Replies (17) Good night (928) Bad night (7813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (1757) Bad night (7983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0
  Replies (80) Good night (2503) Bad night (7855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper http://tfl.nu/7rbt
  Replies (48) Good night (925) Bad night (7818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf
  Replies (35) Good night (5441) Bad night (7975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  One blow job doesn not make me gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): One blow job doesn not make me gay. http://tfl.nu/ismv
  Replies (85) Good night (2556) Bad night (8023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching. http://tfl.nu/ljur
  Replies (21) Good night (1525) Bad night (7976) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  ew wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed. (763): ew wtf http://tfl.nu/st4c
  Replies (83) Good night (1163) Bad night (7989)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd
  Replies (62) Good night (479) Bad night (7961) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj
  Replies (25) Good night (1303) Bad night (8037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture http://tfl.nu/o7a7
  Replies (31) Good night (1661) Bad night (7982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car. http://tfl.nu/95qt
  Replies (40) Good night (1026) Bad night (7994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time. http://tfl.nu/yrce
  Replies (47) Good night (1415) Bad night (8069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (683) Bad night (8113) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (960) Bad night (8166)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy. http://tfl.nu/rtg1
  Replies (41) Good night (1616) Bad night (7945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game http://tfl.nu/2cbt
  Replies (20) Good night (490) Bad night (8092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You spelled "worthless" wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note. (773): You spelled "worthless" wrong. http://tfl.nu/nbo3
  Replies (66) Good night (1243) Bad night (8213)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f
  Replies (36) Good night (510) Bad night (8182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you</3 http://tfl.nu/z6s1
  Replies (32) Good night (1031) Bad night (8149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (991) Bad night (8219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age. http://tfl.nu/4icz
  Replies (31) Good night (436) Bad night (8211)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (753) Bad night (8135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf. http://tfl.nu/v6r3
  Replies (22) Good night (3083) Bad night (8089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them. http://tfl.nu/uohp
  Replies (20) Good night (902) Bad night (8230) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77
  Replies (32) Good night (914) Bad night (8216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride? http://tfl.nu/qrch
  Replies (118) Good night (712) Bad night (8134)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys http://tfl.nu/qwfv
  Replies (47) Good night (644) Bad night (8245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  didn't feel it. :)

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wait what? so it's not in america?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24
  Replies (65) Good night (874) Bad night (8267)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad http://tfl.nu/o7wi
  Replies (32) Good night (1401) Bad night (8320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z
  Replies (46) Good night (5650) Bad night (8276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (1692) Bad night (8297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top. http://tfl.nu/4up5
  Replies (132) Good night (569) Bad night (8227) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/0zg1
  Replies (84) Good night (895) Bad night (8177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward? http://tfl.nu/41t8
  Replies (34) Good night (956) Bad night (8216)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
  Replies (64) Good night (1570) Bad night (8125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Just found my car keys in your throw-up. http://tfl.nu/b21p
  Replies (20) Good night (623) Bad night (8453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (54) Good night (1624) Bad night (8588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3300) Bad night (8617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa
  Replies (18) Good night (973) Bad night (8962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward... http://tfl.nu/3xfe
  Replies (36) Good night (1078) Bad night (8967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!" http://tfl.nu/d3gl
  Replies (22) Good night (4826) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them... http://tfl.nu/vyz1
  Replies (63) Good night (623) Bad night (9203)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning. http://tfl.nu/zsoe
  Replies (34) Good night (985) Bad night (9297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
  Replies (56) Good night (1765) Bad night (9301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on. http://tfl.nu/3dyc
  Replies (30) Good night (642) Bad night (9304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend http://tfl.nu/2gsx
  Replies (74) Good night (2843) Bad night (9589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did he notice?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng
  Replies (82) Good night (1368) Bad night (9538)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped. http://tfl.nu/8nmk
  Replies (35) Good night (765) Bad night (9805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/o6ey
  Replies (41) Good night (577) Bad night (9917)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e
  Replies (26) Good night (777) Bad night (9896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/i402
  Replies (25) Good night (989) Bad night (10358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed http://tfl.nu/93gi
  Replies (45) Good night (1995) Bad night (10720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/szr3
  Replies (61) Good night (693) Bad night (10547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage http://tfl.nu/nrg5
  Replies (39) Good night (916) Bad night (12848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now http://tfl.nu/10rh
  Replies (58) Good night (1008) Bad night (12708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex http://tfl.nu/lecw
  Replies (61) Good night (1861) Bad night (12860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today". http://tfl.nu/w2r4
  Replies (111) Good night (879) Bad night (12962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf http://tfl.nu/03ls
  Replies (24) Good night (601) Bad night (13154) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1385) Bad night (13583) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (34) Good night (940) Bad night (13337)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  just found the deal breaker

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  hairy back?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd
  Replies (73) Good night (680) Bad night (13668)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (1864) Bad night (13826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (53) Good night (2250) Bad night (14355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv
  Replies (107) Good night (590) Bad night (14278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on http://tfl.nu/aooo
  Replies (37) Good night (793) Bad night (14184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name. http://tfl.nu/1ows
  Replies (57) Good night (776) Bad night (14524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff. http://tfl.nu/tizj
  Replies (32) Good night (916) Bad night (14623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my period, period, period

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex (703): I'm on my period, period, period http://tfl.nu/vsrk
  Replies (72) Good night (1530) Bad night (15139)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas http://tfl.nu/0wvi
  Replies (64) Good night (1698) Bad night (15406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted.. http://tfl.nu/j3e7
  Replies (57) Good night (744) Bad night (15553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp
  Replies (60) Good night (706) Bad night (15647) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha, bad night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS. (508): Haha, bad night? http://tfl.nu/huzs
  Replies (142) Good night (1041) Bad night (16059)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn
  Replies (196) Good night (1573) Bad night (15969)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m
  Replies (91) Good night (3808) Bad night (15857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! http://tfl.nu/111h
  Replies (66) Good night (899) Bad night (16392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie. http://tfl.nu/xse4
  Replies (65) Good night (590) Bad night (16131)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (169) Good night (4614) Bad night (16414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (770) Bad night (16490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?" http://tfl.nu/5x5l
  Replies (78) Good night (694) Bad night (16453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it? http://tfl.nu/ugmv
  Replies (91) Good night (1796) Bad night (16896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (940) Bad night (17003) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft. http://tfl.nu/x178
  Replies (345) Good night (2634) Bad night (16850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud http://tfl.nu/p0vi
  Replies (44) Good night (1216) Bad night (18046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it. (719): she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her. (414): are you serious? http://tfl.nu/esul
  Replies (50) Good night (885) Bad night (18495)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet http://tfl.nu/7ieb
  Replies (58) Good night (630) Bad night (19056) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower http://tfl.nu/n59j
  Replies (43) Good night (1016) Bad night (19111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph
  Replies (42) Good night (758) Bad night (19539)
• Favorite

  (560): View more from

  I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (560): I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time? http://tfl.nu/wzlt
  Replies (69) Good night (846) Bad night (20725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5
  Replies (99) Good night (704) Bad night (21529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c
  Replies (96) Good night (1708) Bad night (21873)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

  (623): View more from Arizona

  What did she do!?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I didn't tell her...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351
  Replies (218) Good night (4824) Bad night (23573)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
  Replies (91) Good night (947) Bad night (23449) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!! http://tfl.nu/b8q7
  Replies (44) Good night (871) Bad night (24940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a
  Replies (86) Good night (1487) Bad night (25111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (132) Good night (12125) Bad night (24665)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender? (1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out? (323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture. http://tfl.nu/sr23
  Replies (43) Good night (973) Bad night (27068)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her... http://tfl.nu/xju0
  Replies (78) Good night (1712) Bad night (27417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag. http://tfl.nu/mbm9
  Replies (207) Good night (4366) Bad night (27690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (220) Good night (2061) Bad night (27367)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx
  Replies (87) Good night (3021) Bad night (30123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you??? http://tfl.nu/p9qq
  Replies (171) Good night (2418) Bad night (31285) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9
  Replies (7) Good night (2358) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote. http://tfl.nu/5km0
  Replies (127) Good night (882) Bad night (33767)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (108) Good night (1838) Bad night (34438) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe
  Replies (133) Good night (1355) Bad night (36656)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6143) Bad night (39422)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1243) Bad night (39405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh
  Replies (117) Good night (1270) Bad night (43936) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (351) Good night (7018) Bad night (46836)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (366) Good night (1573) Bad night (51713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h
  Replies (134) Good night (6485) Bad night (53640)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (848): I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa http://tfl.nu/605l
  Replies (149) Good night (4959) Bad night (55670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets
  Replies (268) Good night (3334) Bad night (66309)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad http://tfl.nu/3y6v
  Replies (98) Good night (3102) Bad night (64617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (253) Good night (3186) Bad night (75922)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. http://tfl.nu/lewu
  Replies (254) Good night (3814) Bad night (77567) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude. http://tfl.nu/5a88
  Replies (174) Good night (5431) Bad night (77618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah
  Replies (8) Good night (974) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door. http://tfl.nu/w7kk
  Replies (14) Good night (3612) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long http://tfl.nu/8pgr
  Replies (8) Good night (3040) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS. http://tfl.nu/utzb
  Replies (30) Good night (1090) Bad night (5816) Order T-Shirt