just tell him i said nine months
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
