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  • Sorry, but Christmas is the only time you get to see Grandpa, so you have to stay.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:02pm
  • OMG i can't begin to explain knowing this feeling...after a first date a guy asked me to watch pulp fiction with him at his house, next thing I know hes chasing me around the apt naked...I had to lock myself in his room til he promised he'd let me leave....I feel for you! lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm
  • 12:02 blew the actual text out of the water on the funny meter.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:15pm
  • 12:02 wins....the end, if another frat douche says "suck it" stop living vicariously through this person. we hate you. go 12:02!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:47pm
  • AND I was texting my best friend the same thing lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm
  • Actually 12:12 you have to be first to ruin it fir those "first" retards

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm
  • 1202 ftw hahahahaha that was glorious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm
  • That sucks I hope you got out

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:29pm
  • this is not funny, this is sad. whoever it was was probably really terrified.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:59pm
  • hahahahahahahahaha nasty but so funny 12:02

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm
  • Poor girl, I hope your friend came and got you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:37am
  • 10:59 - <3 chris hansen! He just makes you shit your pants when u walk in cause he has you by the balls. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:48am
  • Ahahaha! I would flip my shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 1:05am
  • hahaha the way this is worded is funny! I like this one!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm
  • grab ur asscheeks and spread them, until his cocktip is touching your asscrack, then sitdown onto his throbbing cock until his cock is sliding slowly into your asshole. then bounce until you feel his warm seed slowly enter your rectum and sphincter, then sit up and drip on his balls.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:03pm
  • nice reppin the 301.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:14pm
  • How sad does a girls life have to be that she is seeking attention on tfln by making herself out to be a pathetic whore?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:07am
  • Ok, do what you normally do. Gobble that thing up, just like a baby bird earring a worm!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:01pm
  • Gross. Don't blame ya

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:30am
  • why is everyone saying, ohh gurrl i feel sorry for you? did anyone stop to think it could be a boy? crazy shits happenin in schools these days...

    Submitted by velvetipp on Feb 19, 10 at 2:15pm
  • OMG THIS HAPPENED TO ME

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:18pm
  • Unbeknownst to the readers of this site, this text is about a mall Santa.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:12pm
  • THIS HAPPENED TO ME ONE TIME!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:14pm
  • HAAA 12:02 was the best icing on the cake ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:34pm
  • 6:59 needs a fat cock

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:15pm
  • LOL. This made me really..lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:06pm
  • This reminds me of Seinfeld: "he took it out.". "he what?". "he took...it out"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 12:28am
  • She lost her chance

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm
  • ......................../´¯/) ......................,/¯..// ...................../..../ / ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´(..´......,~/'...') .........\.................\/..../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\ Fuck you suck it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 10:54am
  • DICKS?!!!! Where?!!! I love sitting dicks just so suckable and shit. I want a mapquest to your place so I can gobble on that big fat floppy donkey dick. SERIOUSLY I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A DICK.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:46pm
  • Where in marylabd does this happen

    Submitted by c615s on Apr 28, 11 at 4:09pm
  • Haha Seinfeld ftw

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 12:40am
  • 12:02 finished the thread.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:35pm
  • This sounds like my friends dad, no matter who's over he is walking around the house in boxers with the door open.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:14pm
  • stick it in your mouth, whore

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:25pm
  • €=====================3 mmmmmm

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:04am
  • suck it like tha thing u r!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:18pm
  • don't be jerks to her, that's freaking traumatic lol. trust me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:22pm
  • Merry Christmas from 10:03.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:41pm
  • Suck onthat dick girl meow

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 26, 09 at 7:53pm
  • 12:02 is so ftw. rofl

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:02pm
  • Yes his dick is out please CUM now!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:21pm
  • put it in your mouth it won't hurt u

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:04pm
  • so something I would do

    Submitted by wuddup440 on Aug 3, 10 at 5:25pm
  • It's moments like these I'm glad I have legs so I can get up and leave.

    Submitted by MarcheHare on Jan 12, 10 at 10:13pm
  • 2:07 stop being gayyyy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:06am
  • 12.02 is freakin hillarious!! BEST CALL EVER!!! you are one of the few truly funny people on this site!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:30pm
  • Whores may not get respect but you have to admit, they are sexy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:09pm
  • 12:02 FTW...HILARIOUS!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:20pm
  • whoa truce this is mine but i submitted it awhile ago...wonder why it just showed up

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm
  • 7:46 i think i love you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:19pm
  • You liked it don't lie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:27pm
  • Just hop on and give him the ride he deserves

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:47pm
  • How old was he?

    Submitted by sal22 on Jun 20, 10 at 6:02pm
  • Whore----- you know you gave it a little kiss....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 1:48pm
  • oh just suck it and get it over with slutttt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:22pm
  • totally had the same problem at a party the other day. fortunately there were like 15 other ppl with me & i was too fucked up to see it clearly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:46pm
  • 9:21 the only dif between me nd u is I sed tht to a guys face b4 and he sed k hahahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:06pm