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  • 84 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 6:23pm

    i want to date the girl who sent this in. yes its weird. but she didnt freak out.

  • 84 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 9:34pm

    this was deff on FML..

  • 76 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:06pm

    i finally figured out a way to stop my lady from snoring. thanks tfln!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 2:21pm

    plus if you've got sleep apnea, his may have just saved your life

  • 75 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 4:54pm

    ahh that's so creepy

  • 73 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 2:05pm

    whats wrong with a little suprise sex?

  • 62 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 09 at 10:48pm

    i actually think its funny that there's people freaking out about this, when in all reality, the chick probably had his dick in her mouth only a few hours earlier...

  • 64 67
    Submitted by velociraptor on May 12, 10 at 11:58pm

    Sexual Assult. Disgusting and low, and anyone who actually chooses to overlook that for a laugh is an ignorant coward. Shit like this shouldn't be on any site, I wish the mods had some better rules.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:33pm

    I think you were with my exboyfriend...

  • 66 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 28, 09 at 2:58pm

    No this Is a fucking hilarious win for the guy

  • 74 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:15pm

    OHHH 10:35 get a grip...i think it's hysterical. and i'm a girl

  • 70 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 3:56pm

    I wish my ex-bf had thought of that when I would snore. He'd do annoying things like put a pillow over my face or shove earplugs up my nose. Ugh. My hubby just elbows me and yells "Stop snoring!" I'd so prefer to wake up with a nice hard dick in my mouth any day!

  • 55 61
    Submitted by SserPrun95 on Sep 8, 10 at 2:10pm

    need a moment, grab a snickers...

  • 68 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 12:09pm

    I believe many of you have taken this out of proportion. A) Everyone here is being a sexist dumb-fuck when it is not necessary B) If the penis was in her mouth before she went to bed, it insinuates that is the place it was meant to rest. C)I feel like I'm the only one who thinks, judging by the context, that this is probably her boyfriend... so maybe even lighten-up as this whole site is for fun... D)Oh and she definitely deserved it if she was in his bed - JFC

  • 68 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 5:00pm

    I woke up with a chick tryna give me head at 3am I had no problem with it I let her finish.

  • 73 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:20pm

    1:57 - a sleeping person cannot render consent.

  • 66 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 9:44pm

    LOOOL this is too funny

  • 64 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 6:52pm

    You got sleep creeped !

  • 66 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 4:26pm

    The manly thing to do.

  • 58 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 7:52pm

    Ummm u all rock for the lezbos and girls amen u girls rock not u fuckin guy dilholes

  • 69 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 5:02pm

    that mustve created SUCH an awkward moment after he said that.

  • 69 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 4:14pm

    My former fuck buddy was so turned on by the thought of doing it I told him "the morning you wake up and see me lying as sexy as hell, just do it". He totally did it.

  • 65 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 7:04pm

    You people are way to upset about this--it's fuckin' hilarious!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:42pm

    3:22, you are an idiot

  • 69 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:57pm

    SEXUAL ASSUALT??! you cancerous lesbian witch. if they are sleeping in the same bed, it aint sexual assault. its just weird.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:55pm

    break up with him now!

  • 70 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 5:35am

    Like someone said before "Honestly after he said something that funny, you pretty much had to let him finish."

  • 62 81
    Submitted by rapejesusfag on Mar 25, 10 at 12:28am

    So the next morning I rammed a spiked barb up his ass. When he asked me what I was doing I said I was trying to make him stop farting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 11:18pm

    I'm sure all of you guys on here would be somewhat upset if you woke up to a girl sitting on your face with her poon all in you mouth

  • 62 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 11:19pm

    11:13 My penis just shriveled up and hid.

  • 61 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 9:24pm

    all of you screaming 'off with his dick!' are either dirty road whores or uptight.. it depends on the relationship. if it's a one night stand, then yea. but it could be ok in a good relationship

  • 66 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 10:14am

    wow, way to make immature fights over someone's TEXT. YOU'RE fucking COOL, dude.

  • 65 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 11:51pm

    Fuuuuuck that (and I am a lesbian, and fuck you)

  • 64 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:03am

    My ex used to suck my dick to wake me up

  • 60 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 8:30pm

    This was taken from FML

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 11:49pm

    If its in a relationship, its not a big deal. If its a one night stand/casual thing its assault because a sleeping person cannot give consent. If basic knowledge about sexual assault and consent laws makes me a lesbian, then I'll go hang up my i heart cocks badge and go find a i heart taco's badge. It was a really good answer though.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 12:07am

    oral sex is illegal in most states. no matter what.

  • 62 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 11:13pm

    my ex tried something similar once. i was tripping and i did bite it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:44pm

    Honestly after he said something that funny, you pretty much had to let him finish.

  • 59 82
    Submitted by Violator on Sep 30, 10 at 2:51pm

    i wake my girlfriend up like this all the time.... she loves it!!

  • 65 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 7:37am

    @ May 26, 2009 1:57PM SEXUAL ASSUALT??! you cancerous lesbian witch. if they are sleeping in the same bed, it aint sexual assault. its just weird. THAT'S THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD!!

  • 60 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 4:10pm

    i think if i tried to do that and my gf woke up she'd be so surprised she'd punch my balls, and then feel bad and nurse them back to well-being. with her mouth. fairly certain thats what would happen..Pr

  • 60 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 12:13am

    11:13 ill remember to only stik it in yer butt when u sleep

  • 57 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 9:43pm

    O_O That's definitely sexual assault. I'm not a lesbian, before you ask, just someone who knows what they're talking about. It was a clever answer, though.

  • 54 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 4, 09 at 3:11am

    cancerous lesbian witch is the greatest insult ive ever heard in an online argument. id call her a cumguzzling gutter whore. but damn yours was good. as far as those guys who may soon catch a woody next to a sleeping girls. remember this...vaginas dont bite. mouths do

  • 61 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 6:58am

    10:35 Only 1 in 4? Damn! Gentlemen, we need to step it up! Let's get those numbers up to at least 3 out of 4. YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:55pm

    1:47, really? People take shit too seriously..

  • 59 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 5:24am

    so fukin funi... ppl lighten up!! if my fella did it i wuda laughed!! x

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:51pm

    You should fart on his face while he is sleeping

  • 63 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 7:18pm

    Bite it off. Then hit him over the head with it. and mail it to his mother with a note about how she is a dumb bitch who obviously should have her family tree cut the fuck down.

  • 58 89
    Submitted by eatmelover69 on Mar 24, 10 at 1:53am

    my thought? this website is for fun. this girl wouldnt post it if it was serious. AND its not my life, not my business. idgaf if it was sexual assault. thats her life, not mine. this was funny. id bite and not feel bad at all. if it was my gf and not my bf, id be the one in there face! XD (yes, im a bisexual girl)

  • 63 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 2:19pm

    deep breath everyone, mouth fucking is only assault if the sleeper wakes up and says stop...of course with junk in your mouth, it's hard to say anything at all

  • 59 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 10:03pm

    how are people on here so ridiculously uptight. im assuming these people were dating and she gives him head frequently making it a funny thing that they both laughed at the next day.

  • 56 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 7:01pm

    HAHAHA omg i just cried laughing.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:43pm

    @ 3:42: Maybe, but at least I don't have a pole rammed up my ass.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:02pm

    best answer I've heard in a while.

  • 52 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 30, 09 at 5:29pm

    lol, is that effective?

  • 57 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 11, 09 at 9:15pm

    "I'm sure all of you guys on here would be somewhat upset if you woke up to a girl sitting on your face with her poon all in you mouth" Not really, especially if she said something funny in response.

  • 49 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 6, 09 at 10:57pm

    haha thats huckin filarious

  • 57 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:51pm

    3:43 and 3:42, way to change the subject to be about yourselves. Do that often? It is quite annoying... I think it is hilarious you woke up... it would be pretty boring for him if you didn't!

  • 56 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 10:39pm

    i did the same thing but instead told her that her morning breath woke me up

  • 59 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:22pm

    @ 3:20: Sleeping people may not be able to render consent, but apparently some lesbians can't take a joke, either.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 7:28pm

    from a lesbian's perspective: if i woke up with my girlfriends vag in my face i'd prolly take advantage!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 5, 09 at 2:38pm

    Lol...that is too funny to be mad at.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 3:10pm

    May 26, 2009 1:57PM and the other douchebags who agree... just because this poster things that having a guy stick his dick in her mouth while she is asleep/unconscious is sexual assault (which it is, btw, if it wasnt consentual. And from the average content of this site, this is probably not her bf) doesn't mean anything about the poster's sexuality. Not approving of sexual assault does not make you a lesbian, liking women makes you a lesbian, genius. haha May 27 1:29, I agree

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 10:35am

    Awesome how many people want to applaud sexual assault and jump all over people who understand that most people don't appreciate having their bodies violated without their consent or knowledge. No wonder more than 1 in 4 women is raped in her lifetime. Goddamn, I wish I was a lesbian. This makes me never want to go near a man again in my life.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 3:44pm

    you shouldn't have asked anything just start sucking away, and when you were done you shoulda told him not to make it a habit.

  • 36 58
    Submitted by NYCdood on Apr 25, 12 at 2:28am

    Seems legit...

  • 55 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 2:11pm

    that's sexual assault. get rid of him before something worse happens!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 12:55am

    yeah theres always a silver lining

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:47pm

    What an asshole. That's sexual assault.

  • 52 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 29, 09 at 12:22pm

    Wow 6:58.... That's wrong, and yet i am still laughing... It's all crap by the way.... I was passed out drunk once and my girl got on top of me and road me... She tells me she's sorry the next day.... I ask for what she tells me!!! I high fived myself for days for getting it up in my sleep.... Seriously have a sense of humor, that's the only reason we read this site.... It's not to put your little soap box up and start preaching.... Rolan

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 4:58pm

    DEFINITELY MY EX shit creepy people. watch out

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 12:24am

    look on the bright side, at least he didn't just shoot on your face while you were asleep

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:29am

    ^ stfu, no one cares.

  • 42 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 31, 09 at 8:38pm

    That's would be awesome if he succeded!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 1:32pm

    Dude is an ass... ...but his answer is awesome.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 7:37pm

    the lesbian should eat rat poison. stupid cunt.

  • 47 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 2:26pm

    he should have taped it across the top, like those nose strips.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on May 30, 09 at 3:59am

    california! alameda! the bay! castro valley.... haha i know this shit