and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
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You should have pretended to wake up because of the fart noise, and asked her what song she was singing...
BadMitch farts in their mouth and they say thank you, www.badmitch.com
so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves.
its not even that funny.
This made me laugh so hard. So proud this came from 902!
"fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go"
hahahahahhahahahahahaha i was just laughing so hard that i farted too
screw pretending to be asleep! if i heard that i would've jumped up and been like "shh! did you hear that?" (with a serious look on my face) and then go back to pretending to be asleep! lol
From which orifice did the fart emanate?
I would have blew the fake sleeping by laughing so hard at her man thats funny
hahah, i just laughed so hard i hit my head on the wall.
i think i know who this is about, i just died laughing.
no you don't, don't lie to yourself.
Wow. I thought this only happened with my friends. huh.
i like how nobody even paid attention to the fact that the girl this is about was replying in the thread!
Lmao you should have not been such an asshole, but im laughing really, really hard so IDC but i should lol
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Classic thats all I have to say.. I died laughing at that text. How many times have stupid chicks freaked out during sex
this text made my night. thank you. lol.
So funny I snort laughed at work.
I think "and then she farted" could be added to any text to makre it funny. Everybody end every text you sned in the next week with "and then she farted"and let's see how many get posted.
and then she farted :)
great text...i wonder how many times i fart after drinking beer when i have dudes over...
LMAO, pretty pathetic on both parts..
hahahaha. i just burst out laughing.
fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go
beer does make u fart. loudly.
Thats some sitcom quality shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This must be about a girl name Amy in the masters program at USC... who is clingy and has abandoment issues. you have been warned.. shes crazy... but can deep throat a cock like a pro!
She is ugly. Tell her to lay off the beer. It will make you fart every time.
"so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves."
are you one of those girls? are you ugly?
This is obviously a woman... Don't take away from this brilliant text, if you are going so deep into it as to ask why lead her on etc... You have missed the point and comedic value of this text and this website entirely.
"if i had a quarter for every girl who did that to me...."I had one for every rez ive lived on!!..too funny
Haha, guess who's going to love you when you grow up? No one! Nice job
HAHAHA I think the best part of the texts are the replies. I love this website.
Fucking right! Must be and Islander! LOL
I would have blown the fake sleeping by confessing an uncontrollable fart fetish just to see what she would do
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love nova scotia, so funny
sounds like me
Holy Shit laughed hard :D classic
Lol, this would have been retarded without the.......then she farted part. XD
That's some funny shit
yay! Halifax repersent!
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha im dieing! this is great.
That's Nova Scotia for ya. Fucking awesome.
This girl isn't at all British, by any chance? Probably not, only it's the kind of thing we do all the time over here (the attractive ones too, not just the trolls), just wondered...
bahahhahahahahha I laughed so hard it made me snort.
All that happened like over the span of an hour or one consecutively after the other (within 5-7 minutes)?
This text made me laugh out loud like crazy! great Story.
I feel like this was probably me....
Thank GOD That never happens to me
How did continue to fake sleep after that I woulda laughed my ass off
WELL THATS DOWN RiGHT HiLARiOUS..! WOW..!! GOOD NiGHT..lOL!
Are you sure that you aren't one of ugly troll women?* Sorry xD
fucking funny ass shit
WHOA she farted!
lmao that would be hard as balls to stay pretend sleepin after she did that shit
Christ, I would not be physically able to not laugh
so she was the sexless innkeeper?
hahahaa that is suuuuch a good night
oh my god. THAT WAS ME. I'm dead serious. I swear on my mother's life. ... I don't know which is the saddest. 1) admitting to that. 2) swearing about something so stupid on my mothers life or 3) doing it to begin with.
Ahaha this ones my favorite
hahahahahaha i never laughed so hard over something i read on the internet.. then i looked and seen 902 and i laughed even harder
Best text on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW, ARE YOU SURE IT WAS A FART THAT YOU SMELLED, IT COULD HAVE BEEN HER FERFUME! ONE TIME I GAVE A DRUNK WOMAN A REDE TO HER HOME AND SHE TOOK A PEE ON MY TENNIS SHOES TURNING THEM YELLOW.
Sounds like somethin Snoki's date would do
this is freaking hilarious, but it's interesting to me how no one feels bad for this girl... at all. i mean that's never happened to me, but god i'd feel like a fucking piece of shit. damn. lol
SHE IS A FUCKIN PIG
lmfao. gosh poor girl, sounds like something that would happen to me while pmsing LMFAO
This is a nightmare I know all too well...
Definately best "Fail" on here!
funniest shit ive ever read
hahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha...OMG posts like these are going to get me fired from work...im dying out loud at the office
lol fat, ugly chicks
love it!!!! hahahahhahaha
omfg if that happened to me, im pretty sure i would burst out laughing!!!!
Not necessarily Nova Scotia dude. Could be PEI.
this shit is funny!!!!!
December 9, 2009... Please qoute How I met your mother more...
incredible night! actually legend-ary status
this is my new favorite
I was just going to suggest PEI too. Who knows. Hilarious everywhere.
this is by far the funniest text on here! HILARIOUS!!
Tht'll mak u say shamwow
11:26 you almost made me laugh out loud( very loudly) while in the bathroom stall at work lmao!!!!
I seriously die every time I read this! I read it out loud to my friends and it just gets better omg ahahaha
Oh you wacky Canadians
hahahahahahahah! Lmfao! The greatest text from all time right here folks......!
HAHAHAHA I'm dying laughing! I would've shot up and been like, "did you hear that?!"
This could almost be on MLIA but maybe not.
Best part is " and then she farted" lmao
Hahaha, this is the best
Haha :) well better then most nights...
OMG I laughed so hard I snorted!
u r too ugly... just accpet it... oh, and don't let the door hit u in ur big fat ass on the way out my door
bahahahahahaha that's hilarious.
Oh my good lord, I've never been that girl, but my fuck, is that funny. You're an ass, but this was a classic. Maritimes represent! NB over here!
Makes me ashamed of being Nova Scotian...
lmao ew at herrr, what the hell.
omg that was so effing hilarious
hahahaha definitely my favorite ever. can you even imagine? wow.
this really is my favorite
Clearly this is actually a Good Night, since you didn't do it.
thats frigging hilairious
give that bitch some imodium
Lmao@she then farted.
Because 10:33AM she's probably lying.
May 24, 2009 8:38PM- As for you. I'm sure one of those incredibly ugly troll things aren't you?
I've read this before, and I'm STILL laughing my ass off...what chick farts audibly, ever? ESPECIALLY after trying to convince a guy to fuck her...
If you don't wanna do her just tell her that you're not drunk enough. That way you get to be a royal ass and she will almost always think you meant that you were too drunk. Classic.
Teacher asked what I was laughing at when I read this. Told them "fart joke" and class continued
I think I might have to move to the 902 now. That's pretty amazing.
Id just roll over and go "hi 5 girl"
Thats a keeper
What do all the numbers mean before texts?
hahaha no empathy do feel for you!