and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
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You should have pretended to wake up because of the fart noise, and asked her what song she was singing...
BadMitch farts in their mouth and they say thank you, www.badmitch.com
its not even that funny.
so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves.
This made me laugh so hard. So proud this came from 902!
"fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go"
hahahahahhahahahahahaha i was just laughing so hard that i farted too
screw pretending to be asleep! if i heard that i would've jumped up and been like "shh! did you hear that?" (with a serious look on my face) and then go back to pretending to be asleep! lol
I would have blew the fake sleeping by laughing so hard at her man thats funny
From which orifice did the fart emanate?
Wow. I thought this only happened with my friends. huh.
i think i know who this is about, i just died laughing.
no you don't, don't lie to yourself.
hahah, i just laughed so hard i hit my head on the wall.
Lmao you should have not been such an asshole, but im laughing really, really hard so IDC but i should lol
i like how nobody even paid attention to the fact that the girl this is about was replying in the thread!
Classic thats all I have to say.. I died laughing at that text. How many times have stupid chicks freaked out during sex
So funny I snort laughed at work.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH OH MY FUCKING GOD!
fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go
This must be about a girl name Amy in the masters program at USC... who is clingy and has abandoment issues. you have been warned.. shes crazy... but can deep throat a cock like a pro!
great text...i wonder how many times i fart after drinking beer when i have dudes over...
Thats some sitcom quality shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO, pretty pathetic on both parts..
"so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves."
are you one of those girls? are you ugly?
This is obviously a woman... Don't take away from this brilliant text, if you are going so deep into it as to ask why lead her on etc... You have missed the point and comedic value of this text and this website entirely.
this text made my night. thank you. lol.
She is ugly. Tell her to lay off the beer. It will make you fart every time.
I think "and then she farted" could be added to any text to makre it funny. Everybody end every text you sned in the next week with "and then she farted"and let's see how many get posted.
and then she farted :)
Haha, guess who's going to love you when you grow up? No one! Nice job
beer does make u fart. loudly.
sounds like me
I would have blown the fake sleeping by confessing an uncontrollable fart fetish just to see what she would do
"if i had a quarter for every girl who did that to me...."I had one for every rez ive lived on!!..too funny
hahahaha. i just burst out laughing.
yay! Halifax repersent!
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha im dieing! this is great.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love nova scotia, so funny
Lol, this would have been retarded without the.......then she farted part. XD
Are you sure that you aren't one of ugly troll women?* Sorry xD
This girl isn't at all British, by any chance? Probably not, only it's the kind of thing we do all the time over here (the attractive ones too, not just the trolls), just wondered...
That's Nova Scotia for ya. Fucking awesome.
HAHAHA I think the best part of the texts are the replies. I love this website.
Holy Shit laughed hard :D classic
That's some funny shit
fucking funny ass shit
Fucking right! Must be and Islander! LOL
WHOA she farted!
This text made me laugh out loud like crazy! great Story.
Ahaha this ones my favorite
hahahaa that is suuuuch a good night
lmao that would be hard as balls to stay pretend sleepin after she did that shit
so she was the sexless innkeeper?
All that happened like over the span of an hour or one consecutively after the other (within 5-7 minutes)?
I feel like this was probably me....
WOW, ARE YOU SURE IT WAS A FART THAT YOU SMELLED, IT COULD HAVE BEEN HER FERFUME! ONE TIME I GAVE A DRUNK WOMAN A REDE TO HER HOME AND SHE TOOK A PEE ON MY TENNIS SHOES TURNING THEM YELLOW.
How did continue to fake sleep after that I woulda laughed my ass off
this is freaking hilarious, but it's interesting to me how no one feels bad for this girl... at all. i mean that's never happened to me, but god i'd feel like a fucking piece of shit. damn. lol
oh my god. THAT WAS ME. I'm dead serious. I swear on my mother's life. ... I don't know which is the saddest. 1) admitting to that. 2) swearing about something so stupid on my mothers life or 3) doing it to begin with.
SHE IS A FUCKIN PIG
Christ, I would not be physically able to not laugh
this is my new favorite
hahahahahaha i never laughed so hard over something i read on the internet.. then i looked and seen 902 and i laughed even harder
Best text on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously die every time I read this! I read it out loud to my friends and it just gets better omg ahahaha
WELL THATS DOWN RiGHT HiLARiOUS..! WOW..!! GOOD NiGHT..lOL!
December 9, 2009... Please qoute How I met your mother more...
bahahhahahahahha I laughed so hard it made me snort.
Sounds like somethin Snoki's date would do
Not necessarily Nova Scotia dude. Could be PEI.
love it!!!! hahahahhahaha
Thank GOD That never happens to me
Tht'll mak u say shamwow
This is a nightmare I know all too well...
incredible night! actually legend-ary status
omfg if that happened to me, im pretty sure i would burst out laughing!!!!
11:26 you almost made me laugh out loud( very loudly) while in the bathroom stall at work lmao!!!!
lmfao. gosh poor girl, sounds like something that would happen to me while pmsing LMFAO
Definately best "Fail" on here!
funniest shit ive ever read
this is by far the funniest text on here! HILARIOUS!!
lol fat, ugly chicks
hahahahahahahah! Lmfao! The greatest text from all time right here folks......!
This could almost be on MLIA but maybe not.
hahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha...OMG posts like these are going to get me fired from work...im dying out loud at the office
Hahaha, this is the best
Best part is " and then she farted" lmao
Oh you wacky Canadians
HAHAHAHA I'm dying laughing! I would've shot up and been like, "did you hear that?!"
this shit is funny!!!!!
bahahahahahaha that's hilarious.
I was just going to suggest PEI too. Who knows. Hilarious everywhere.
omg that was so effing hilarious
u r too ugly... just accpet it... oh, and don't let the door hit u in ur big fat ass on the way out my door
lmao ew at herrr, what the hell.
OMG I laughed so hard I snorted!
Clearly this is actually a Good Night, since you didn't do it.
Oh my good lord, I've never been that girl, but my fuck, is that funny. You're an ass, but this was a classic. Maritimes represent! NB over here!
this really is my favorite
Haha :) well better then most nights...
Makes me ashamed of being Nova Scotian...
hahahaha definitely my favorite ever. can you even imagine? wow.
thats frigging hilairious
Lmao@she then farted.
give that bitch some imodium
I've read this before, and I'm STILL laughing my ass off...what chick farts audibly, ever? ESPECIALLY after trying to convince a guy to fuck her...
Because 10:33AM she's probably lying.
May 24, 2009 8:38PM- As for you. I'm sure one of those incredibly ugly troll things aren't you?
If you don't wanna do her just tell her that you're not drunk enough. That way you get to be a royal ass and she will almost always think you meant that you were too drunk. Classic.
Thats a keeper
Id just roll over and go "hi 5 girl"
Teacher asked what I was laughing at when I read this. Told them "fart joke" and class continued
I think I might have to move to the 902 now. That's pretty amazing.
What do all the numbers mean before texts?
hahaha no empathy do feel for you!