Have some text gold?

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  • You should have pretended to wake up because of the fart noise, and asked her what song she was singing...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 11:26am
  • its not even that funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 4, 09 at 3:23am
  • I would have blew the fake sleeping by laughing so hard at her man thats funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 1:19am
  • screw pretending to be asleep! if i heard that i would've jumped up and been like "shh! did you hear that?" (with a serious look on my face) and then go back to pretending to be asleep! lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 15, 09 at 7:43pm
  • "fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go" that's classic!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 1:27pm
  • hahahahahhahahahahahaha i was just laughing so hard that i farted too

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 19, 09 at 3:09am
  • so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 24, 09 at 8:38pm
  • This made me laugh so hard. So proud this came from 902!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 27, 09 at 8:52pm
  • i think i know who this is about, i just died laughing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 8:21pm
  • hahah, i just laughed so hard i hit my head on the wall.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 15, 09 at 9:08pm
  • Lmao you should have not been such an asshole, but im laughing really, really hard so IDC but i should lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 9:27pm
  • Wow. I thought this only happened with my friends. huh.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 1:50pm
  • From which orifice did the fart emanate?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 8:19am
  • i like how nobody even paid attention to the fact that the girl this is about was replying in the thread!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 23, 09 at 10:33am
  • "so she farted big deal get over it.. if a guy did that it would be no big deal. And if u really didn't want to sleep with her because she wasn't attractive enough for u then why did u lead her on? ur an ass. It's not all about the looks guys so get over yourselves." are you one of those girls? are you ugly?

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 12:05pm
    • This is obviously a woman... Don't take away from this brilliant text, if you are going so deep into it as to ask why lead her on etc... You have missed the point and comedic value of this text and this website entirely.

      Submitted by HULKSMASH on Apr 16, 10 at 8:52am
  • So funny I snort laughed at work.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 23, 09 at 6:25pm
  • Classic thats all I have to say.. I died laughing at that text. How many times have stupid chicks freaked out during sex

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 11, 09 at 11:22pm
  • Thats some sitcom quality shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 6:48pm
  • This must be about a girl name Amy in the masters program at USC... who is clingy and has abandoment issues. you have been warned.. shes crazy... but can deep throat a cock like a pro!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 6:19pm
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH OH MY FUCKING GOD!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 17, 09 at 8:48pm
  • fail...the first thing i do at any party i plan to get smashed at is mark the girl that is cute before i'm shitfaced with a sharpie on the wrist and check when i'm shitfaced for the mark...no mark no go

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 3:49am
  • She is ugly. Tell her to lay off the beer. It will make you fart every time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 8:15pm
  • Scotia bitchessssss!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 12:20pm
  • great text...i wonder how many times i fart after drinking beer when i have dudes over...

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 9, 09 at 5:22pm
  • LMAO, pretty pathetic on both parts..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 1:10am
  • sounds like me

    Submitted by 902adhd on Mar 14, 10 at 1:21pm
  • Hahaha.

    Submitted by Raella69 on Apr 30, 10 at 8:42pm
  • this is freaking hilarious, but it's interesting to me how no one feels bad for this girl... at all. i mean that's never happened to me, but god i'd feel like a fucking piece of shit. damn. lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 6:20pm
  • I think "and then she farted" could be added to any text to makre it funny. Everybody end every text you sned in the next week with "and then she farted"and let's see how many get posted.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 31, 09 at 8:33pm
  • Haha, guess who's going to love you when you grow up? No one! Nice job

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 11:29pm
  • hahahaa that is suuuuch a good night

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 1:51am
  • SHAMMMUUUUU

    Submitted by CCF on Feb 21, 10 at 6:30pm
  • beer does make u fart. loudly.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 2:21am
  • Awesome!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 23, 09 at 3:06pm
  • Are you sure that you aren't one of ugly troll women?* Sorry xD

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 11:07pm
  • hahahahahahahahahaha!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 11:18am
  • I feel like this was probably me....

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 10:56pm
  • "if i had a quarter for every girl who did that to me...."I had one for every rez ive lived on!!..too funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 16, 09 at 6:10am
  • This is obviously a woman... Don't take away from this brilliant text, if you are going so deep into it as to ask why lead her on etc... You have missed the point and comedic value of this text and this website entirely.

    Submitted by HULKSMASH on Apr 16, 10 at 8:51am
  • That's Nova Scotia for ya. Fucking awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 7:23pm
  • this is my new favorite

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 09 at 6:03am
  • HAHAHA I think the best part of the texts are the replies. I love this website.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 21, 09 at 6:39pm
  • Holy Shit laughed hard :D classic

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 2, 09 at 7:13pm
  • This text made me laugh out loud like crazy! great Story.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 3:06pm
  • Fucking right! Must be and Islander! LOL

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 12, 09 at 7:41pm
  • WOW, ARE YOU SURE IT WAS A FART THAT YOU SMELLED, IT COULD HAVE BEEN HER FERFUME! ONE TIME I GAVE A DRUNK WOMAN A REDE TO HER HOME AND SHE TOOK A PEE ON MY TENNIS SHOES TURNING THEM YELLOW.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 26, 09 at 7:24pm
  • December 9, 2009... Please qoute How I met your mother more...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 16, 10 at 1:53am
  • This girl isn't at all British, by any chance? Probably not, only it's the kind of thing we do all the time over here (the attractive ones too, not just the trolls), just wondered...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 4:48pm
  • I would have blown the fake sleeping by confessing an uncontrollable fart fetish just to see what she would do

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 10:57pm
  • hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha im dieing! this is great.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 17, 09 at 2:41am
  • Lol, this would have been retarded without the.......then she farted part. XD

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 28, 09 at 1:27am
  • All that happened like over the span of an hour or one consecutively after the other (within 5-7 minutes)?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 14, 09 at 1:06am
  • That's some funny shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:07am
  • bahahhahahahahha I laughed so hard it made me snort.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 17, 09 at 1:29am
  • hahahahahahahahahahahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 8:58pm
  • WHOA she farted!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:43pm
  • Best text on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 1, 09 at 12:18am
  • hahahahahahahah! Lmfao! The greatest text from all time right here folks......!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 9, 09 at 6:19am
  • oh my god. THAT WAS ME. I'm dead serious. I swear on my mother's life. ... I don't know which is the saddest. 1) admitting to that. 2) swearing about something so stupid on my mothers life or 3) doing it to begin with.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 20, 09 at 8:54am
  • Ahaha this ones my favorite

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 30, 09 at 10:08am
  • BHAHAA omg Thank GOD That never happens to me

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 9:43pm
  • WELL THATS DOWN RiGHT HiLARiOUS..! WOW..!! GOOD NiGHT..lOL!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 18, 09 at 11:13pm
  • this text made my night. thank you. lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 12:02am
  • LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 09 at 6:29pm
  • so she was the sexless innkeeper?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:43pm
  • yay! Halifax repersent!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 10, 09 at 6:44am
  • omfg if that happened to me, im pretty sure i would burst out laughing!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 6:30pm
  • Christ, I would not be physically able to not laugh

    Submitted by Epimetheus on May 27, 10 at 9:38pm
  • hahahaha. i just burst out laughing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 12, 09 at 8:30pm
  • NS Represent!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 28, 09 at 9:48pm
  • SHE IS A FUCKIN PIG

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 9, 10 at 7:15pm
  • I seriously die every time I read this! I read it out loud to my friends and it just gets better omg ahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 1:59am
  • fucking funny ass shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 10:41am
  • Sounds like somethin Snoki's date would do

    Submitted by screw4virginity on Jun 28, 10 at 12:30pm
  • Not necessarily Nova Scotia dude. Could be PEI.

    Submitted by Dude4Real on Oct 3, 10 at 11:30pm
  • funniest shit ive ever read

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 13, 09 at 3:30pm
  • lmao that would be hard as balls to stay pretend sleepin after she did that shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 7:14pm
  • lmfao. gosh poor girl, sounds like something that would happen to me while pmsing LMFAO

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:47am
  • So scotian..

    Submitted by hobolo on Apr 26, 10 at 2:17am
  • hahahahahaha i never laughed so hard over something i read on the internet.. then i looked and seen 902 and i laughed even harder

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 15, 09 at 3:04pm
  • love it!!!! hahahahhahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 10:09pm
  • This is a nightmare I know all too well...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 9:08pm
  • Haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 15, 10 at 4:06am
  • lol fat, ugly chicks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 5:21pm
  • Definately best "Fail" on here!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 6, 09 at 8:57pm
  • How did continue to fake sleep after that I woulda laughed my ass off

    Submitted by doucher13 on Jun 15, 10 at 6:24pm
  • 11:26 you almost made me laugh out loud( very loudly) while in the bathroom stall at work lmao!!!!

    Submitted by hyper31337 on Sep 13, 10 at 1:29pm
  • incredible night! actually legend-ary status

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 28, 09 at 2:48am
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love nova scotia, so funny

    Submitted by summer77 on Jun 30, 10 at 9:34pm
  • Best part is " and then she farted" lmao

    Submitted by 586/248 on Apr 18, 10 at 10:04pm
  • Tht'll mak u say shamwow

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 2, 10 at 11:08pm
  • This could almost be on MLIA but maybe not.

    Submitted by AlterBoi on Jun 29, 10 at 3:06pm
  • this shit is funny!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 21, 09 at 3:16pm
  • hahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha...OMG posts like these are going to get me fired from work...im dying out loud at the office

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 18, 09 at 2:36pm
  • lmao ew at herrr, what the hell.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 8:08pm
  • I was just going to suggest PEI too. Who knows. Hilarious everywhere.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 5:16pm
  • omg that was so effing hilarious

    Submitted by alexlacey88 on Dec 7, 10 at 12:49am
  • Oh you wacky Canadians

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 12, 09 at 6:17pm
  • Hahaha, this is the best

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:10pm
  • Makes me ashamed of being Nova Scotian...

    Submitted by EroticHillbilly on Jan 31, 11 at 1:53am
  • this is by far the funniest text on here! HILARIOUS!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 12, 09 at 1:13am
  • this really is my favorite

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 3, 09 at 3:16am
  • u r too ugly... just accpet it... oh, and don't let the door hit u in ur big fat ass on the way out my door

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 9:52pm
  • HAHAHAHA I'm dying laughing! I would've shot up and been like, "did you hear that?!"

    Submitted by oliviagily on Mar 10, 11 at 7:24pm
  • Clearly this is actually a Good Night, since you didn't do it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 09 at 8:56pm
  • LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLocaust!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 2, 09 at 2:40am
  • OMG I laughed so hard I snorted!

    Submitted by ShutYourTuna on Jun 28, 12 at 9:59pm
  • Oh my good lord, I've never been that girl, but my fuck, is that funny. You're an ass, but this was a classic. Maritimes represent! NB over here!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 26, 09 at 5:11pm
  • HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAH

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 7:12pm
  • thats frigging hilairious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 6:03pm
  • bahahahahahaha that's hilarious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 8:12pm
  • hahahaha definitely my favorite ever. can you even imagine? wow.

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 12, 09 at 11:19pm
  • Hhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

    Submitted by kelser on Dec 19, 10 at 8:58pm
  • I've read this before, and I'm STILL laughing my ass off...what chick farts audibly, ever? ESPECIALLY after trying to convince a guy to fuck her...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 6:18pm
  • Because 10:33AM she's probably lying. May 24, 2009 8:38PM- As for you. I'm sure one of those incredibly ugly troll things aren't you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 11:05pm
  • Id just roll over and go "hi 5 girl"

    Submitted by planks on Oct 4, 10 at 8:17am
  • Lmao@she then farted.

    Submitted by makingPUTAShorny on Jan 6, 11 at 3:35am
  • Haha :) well better then most nights...

    Submitted by Anonymous007 on Jun 30, 11 at 1:16pm
  • If you don't wanna do her just tell her that you're not drunk enough. That way you get to be a royal ass and she will almost always think you meant that you were too drunk. Classic.

    Submitted by devil_pup on Sep 22, 11 at 1:24am
  • give that bitch some imodium

    Submitted by Anonymous on May 8, 09 at 5:41pm
  • Thats a keeper

    Submitted by thesteveholt on Apr 7, 12 at 10:19pm
  • Haha

    Submitted by Brady24 on Mar 1, 11 at 11:52pm
  • I think I might have to move to the 902 now. That's pretty amazing.

    Submitted by Jayroo on Dec 12, 10 at 3:18am
  • What do all the numbers mean before texts?

    Submitted by Izboy on Oct 7, 11 at 10:39am
  • hahaha no empathy do feel for you!

    Submitted by photorobert on May 24, 12 at 9:25pm
  • Teacher asked what I was laughing at when I read this. Told them "fart joke" and class continued

    Submitted by Fumbls on Nov 23, 11 at 8:31pm