ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
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