Texts From Last Night

KenKenTayTay's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j
  Replies (78) Good night (9751) Bad night (2570)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5445) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out (1-860): Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins http://tfl.nu/pc38
  Replies (34) Good night (1425) Bad night (3975)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
  Replies (20) Good night (1609) Bad night (4137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever http://tfl.nu/2bk7
  Replies (28) Good night (4516) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex http://tfl.nu/hs2b
  Replies (22) Good night (6074) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (17) Good night (4285) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812
  Replies (22) Good night (1137) Bad night (4500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby
  Replies (21) Good night (6868) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (36) Good night (9304) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (5692) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5
  Replies (20) Good night (9669) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (4898) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry
  Replies (26) Good night (1093) Bad night (4866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): hes a good boy he deserves a good blow http://tfl.nu/pix3
  Replies (92) Good night (7478) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf http://tfl.nu/03ls
  Replies (24) Good night (601) Bad night (13154) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome http://tfl.nu/r1ky
  Replies (17) Good night (3563) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off. http://tfl.nu/4dsi
  Replies (22) Good night (7291) Bad night (1687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby http://tfl.nu/jjj6
  Replies (18) Good night (1389) Bad night (4917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology. http://tfl.nu/8ghc
  Replies (18) Good night (923) Bad night (3677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner... http://tfl.nu/glgi
  Replies (24) Good night (876) Bad night (5041) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5090) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8587) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

  (518): View more from New York

  It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Why was I handcuffed to the roof? (518): It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly http://tfl.nu/nk88
  Replies (27) Good night (8740) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!" http://tfl.nu/qrwa
  Replies (44) Good night (7849) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part. http://tfl.nu/1dsi
  Replies (27) Good night (7623) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Apparently senior citizens don't like that position http://tfl.nu/ttsr
  Replies (34) Good night (800) Bad night (5111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z
  Replies (33) Good night (5358) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (518) Bad night (6862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole. http://tfl.nu/sreo
  Replies (20) Good night (781) Bad night (4870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): we turned his baptism video into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/gtee
  Replies (18) Good night (4216) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing. http://tfl.nu/bnv5
  Replies (33) Good night (5162) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/jh5k
  Replies (17) Good night (549) Bad night (3389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1213) Bad night (3556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6083) Bad night (2523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (54) Good night (5498) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it. http://tfl.nu/vg3u
  Replies (22) Good night (5819) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever. http://tfl.nu/6dcd
  Replies (20) Good night (5982) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing http://tfl.nu/l66q
  Replies (17) Good night (5722) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!! (404): you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship. http://tfl.nu/9p9t
  Replies (34) Good night (6166) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree http://tfl.nu/cqwy
  Replies (19) Good night (5415) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie. http://tfl.nu/eug9
  Replies (19) Good night (5402) Bad night (1406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements. http://tfl.nu/vs0n
  Replies (28) Good night (870) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (235): View more from

  I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4
  Replies (53) Good night (1788) Bad night (6131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  What?

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just dont open the beer drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la
  Replies (16) Good night (1280) Bad night (5372)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (942) Bad night (6373) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was! http://tfl.nu/nt2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8333) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop http://tfl.nu/8y0s
  Replies (19) Good night (5049) Bad night (2308) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle. http://tfl.nu/tr9x
  Replies (37) Good night (2954) Bad night (6494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My face left an imprint in the loaf...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning (215): My face left an imprint in the loaf... http://tfl.nu/s8i8
  Replies (12) Good night (4431) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (4629) Bad night (5956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (10505) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt
  Replies (13) Good night (603) Bad night (3885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas. http://tfl.nu/cqgv
  Replies (23) Good night (4307) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun http://tfl.nu/uh6g
  Replies (13) Good night (2501) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows. http://tfl.nu/2kv7
  Replies (17) Good night (4356) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj
  Replies (49) Good night (8800) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila http://tfl.nu/4u8b
  Replies (20) Good night (5697) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/q9c2
  Replies (22) Good night (5789) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (31) Good night (16195) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5422) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  This is the prime rib incident all over again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): This is the prime rib incident all over again http://tfl.nu/74hx
  Replies (14) Good night (2963) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella http://tfl.nu/sjyh
  Replies (33) Good night (5819) Bad night (1806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid! http://tfl.nu/xi6r
  Replies (51) Good night (1110) Bad night (10109)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/dwy3
  Replies (34) Good night (616) Bad night (9126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk. http://tfl.nu/wlu8
  Replies (100) Good night (2692) Bad night (11566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2154) Bad night (11936) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like her boobs came off with her bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): it's like her boobs came off with her bra http://tfl.nu/ua1r
  Replies (53) Good night (1229) Bad night (14770) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (66) Good night (1228) Bad night (24747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a
  Replies (86) Good night (1487) Bad night (25110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (43) Good night (9888) Bad night (1490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress' (508): what was i wearing? (203): nothing http://tfl.nu/2bg6
  Replies (21) Good night (14002) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i think i left my bra at your place

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): i think i left my bra at your place (1-901): It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there. http://tfl.nu/dg7a
  Replies (21) Good night (10157) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"? (1-954): Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards. http://tfl.nu/k91c
  Replies (72) Good night (10284) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0
  Replies (32) Good night (10761) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (23) Good night (10995) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this... http://tfl.nu/h8y9
  Replies (49) Good night (11520) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (23) Good night (11259) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11373) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever. http://tfl.nu/2hpf
  Replies (37) Good night (12208) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (21) Good night (13380) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5451) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged. http://tfl.nu/p1l3
  Replies (31) Good night (7226) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You're fat. Stop making excuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes (905): You're fat. Stop making excuses http://tfl.nu/rdmk
  Replies (69) Good night (12289) Bad night (4896)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's gonna be a great weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok
  Replies (13) Good night (5986) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (5835) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger. http://tfl.nu/ni0e
  Replies (17) Good night (7557) Bad night (1611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/f26o
  Replies (42) Good night (11310) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr
  Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (3987)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever http://tfl.nu/sgij
  Replies (85) Good night (2634) Bad night (14475)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue http://tfl.nu/47c2
  Replies (27) Good night (1083) Bad night (4804) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do. http://tfl.nu/s093
  Replies (30) Good night (3888) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom http://tfl.nu/rkiv
  Replies (38) Good night (4462) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it" http://tfl.nu/cfuj
  Replies (111) Good night (3331) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy http://tfl.nu/yz4e
  Replies (4) Good night (2422) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who keeps a bong in their car??

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Who keeps a bong in their car?? (1-402): Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/uih3
  Replies (34) Good night (3515) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls. http://tfl.nu/oc6k
  Replies (36) Good night (1083) Bad night (5797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house. http://tfl.nu/91p3
  Replies (56) Good night (1775) Bad night (5619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0
  Replies (10) Good night (4503) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs. http://tfl.nu/w8zn
  Replies (16) Good night (4558) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion. http://tfl.nu/1y37
  Replies (23) Good night (4931) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

  (510): View more from California

  big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement (510): big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault. http://tfl.nu/lnx0
  Replies (11) Good night (6106) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (5807) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed. http://tfl.nu/tv17
  Replies (9) Good night (4769) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents. http://tfl.nu/w3i6
  Replies (8) Good night (3290) Bad night (1447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  The police scanner is talking about you again....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): The police scanner is talking about you again.... http://tfl.nu/f6sk
  Replies (16) Good night (8121) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me. http://tfl.nu/jccz
  Replies (26) Good night (721) Bad night (3740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. http://tfl.nu/6hfm
  Replies (18) Good night (4523) Bad night (1877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64
  Replies (9) Good night (4164) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can get orange kush...

  (586): View more from Michigan

  GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can get orange kush... (586): GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?! http://tfl.nu/voiy
  Replies (32) Good night (6076) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar http://tfl.nu/aq1i
  Replies (11) Good night (4269) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn
  Replies (18) Good night (923) Bad night (5953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees. http://tfl.nu/9alk
  Replies (42) Good night (1496) Bad night (6315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do http://tfl.nu/o1hg
  Replies (35) Good night (9019) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4082) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick. http://tfl.nu/3ndf
  Replies (15) Good night (1428) Bad night (5712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you. http://tfl.nu/xn7n
  Replies (40) Good night (10799) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted. http://tfl.nu/0qre
  Replies (11) Good night (3712) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ask politely.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats good enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Ask politely. (610): Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you? (484): Thats good enough. http://tfl.nu/nxir
  Replies (61) Good night (12686) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A http://tfl.nu/yjw5
  Replies (137) Good night (6711) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila. http://tfl.nu/cfz3
  Replies (26) Good night (4836) Bad night (1709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/jiq7
  Replies (15) Good night (6966) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf
  Replies (43) Good night (2070) Bad night (7090) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
  Replies (17) Good night (6076) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1312) Bad night (4865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (116) Good night (37592) Bad night (1300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it" http://tfl.nu/8bv4
  Replies (11) Good night (5061) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h
  Replies (21) Good night (4576) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas? http://tfl.nu/mq53
  Replies (15) Good night (5793) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (16827) Bad night (2260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch
  Replies (14) Good night (4190) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip http://tfl.nu/9463
  Replies (10) Good night (3292) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting. http://tfl.nu/hwr8
  Replies (14) Good night (4607) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3195) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER. http://tfl.nu/kfu8
  Replies (23) Good night (5028) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us http://tfl.nu/tf5l
  Replies (4) Good night (3173) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (3807) Bad night (1524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk
  Replies (30) Good night (7075) Bad night (2459) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (54) Good night (1003) Bad night (9468) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Am i fat?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Well i wouldnt let you on top

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Am i fat? (1-248): Well i wouldnt let you on top http://tfl.nu/1yk2
  Replies (36) Good night (1362) Bad night (8913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (484) Good night (128174) Bad night (5059)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in? http://tfl.nu/ejnj
  Replies (25) Good night (6415) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3
  Replies (11) Good night (3139) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1385) Bad night (13583) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight. http://tfl.nu/5vdu
  Replies (59) Good night (14182) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (49) Good night (14395) Bad night (3326) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me http://tfl.nu/356r
  Replies (20) Good night (6991) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official. http://tfl.nu/00ts
  Replies (14) Good night (943) Bad night (4540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this. http://tfl.nu/j4ab
  Replies (5) Good night (4406) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thats actually pretty good logic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars" (412): thats actually pretty good logic http://tfl.nu/znkn
  Replies (13) Good night (5747) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  I honestly don't know what to make of that.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A ham sandwich would be nice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich. (1-423): I honestly don't know what to make of that. (423): A ham sandwich would be nice. http://tfl.nu/fg3s
  Replies (16) Good night (7198) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (16025) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (420): View more from

  So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (420): So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth http://tfl.nu/5fuc
  Replies (18) Good night (723) Bad night (6193) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone. http://tfl.nu/g122
  Replies (23) Good night (8551) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us. http://tfl.nu/3t30
  Replies (24) Good night (7246) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  No thats like a top 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night? (1-918): No thats like a top 10 http://tfl.nu/uawo
  Replies (34) Good night (6271) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed. http://tfl.nu/gt11
  Replies (7) Good night (4111) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god http://tfl.nu/byer
  Replies (25) Good night (7138) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me http://tfl.nu/kwsp
  Replies (9) Good night (7071) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (26) Good night (874) Bad night (5491) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got http://tfl.nu/io78
  Replies (20) Good night (1087) Bad night (3878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances http://tfl.nu/ijjs
  Replies (28) Good night (6989) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about? http://tfl.nu/lnao
  Replies (15) Good night (4108) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+62): View more from

  This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+62): This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country. http://tfl.nu/rdix
  Replies (50) Good night (1250) Bad night (4070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (30) Good night (11358) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (917) Bad night (3967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g
  Replies (13) Good night (4296) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running. http://tfl.nu/jcc8
  Replies (76) Good night (15585) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2336) Bad night (4529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis http://tfl.nu/pro9
  Replies (14) Good night (3207) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain... http://tfl.nu/8i34
  Replies (10) Good night (1953) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right. http://tfl.nu/wcm0
  Replies (46) Good night (5229) Bad night (1783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0
  Replies (17) Good night (1062) Bad night (5456) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her http://tfl.nu/lmu7
  Replies (10) Good night (3421) Bad night (1015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again http://tfl.nu/8jzt
  Replies (15) Good night (4329) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (8784) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist. http://tfl.nu/t4io
  Replies (26) Good night (8525) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip http://tfl.nu/r0us
  Replies (35) Good night (2027) Bad night (6498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner" http://tfl.nu/76ix
  Replies (11) Good night (5135) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
  Replies (26) Good night (10951) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day. http://tfl.nu/xpns
  Replies (29) Good night (5550) Bad night (1883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate. http://tfl.nu/qrjm
  Replies (13) Good night (3912) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6032) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  And the cops told us we were all naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): And the cops told us we were all naked. http://tfl.nu/sk8w
  Replies (15) Good night (6262) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator. http://tfl.nu/lq0c
  Replies (30) Good night (8411) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night. http://tfl.nu/9abu
  Replies (27) Good night (4841) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt http://tfl.nu/t4r8
  Replies (25) Good night (11427) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Are you still giving blowjobs?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Who is this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Are you still giving blowjobs? (1-850): Who is this? http://tfl.nu/iq9v
  Replies (29) Good night (9240) Bad night (1860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY http://tfl.nu/vrxb
  Replies (18) Good night (648) Bad night (4060) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of http://tfl.nu/f0gq
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (2355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3412) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ready 4 sex 2nite?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  wow. woo me matt, woo me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): ready 4 sex 2nite? (978): wow. woo me matt, woo me. http://tfl.nu/frhd
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes http://tfl.nu/kyj9
  Replies (23) Good night (4203) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Strong 6

  (516): View more from New York

  That's an oxymoron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck? (201): Strong 6 (516): That's an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/n45n
  Replies (32) Good night (1065) Bad night (4061)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (3963) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (846): View more from

  He asked to "fluff my boner.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (846): He asked to "fluff my boner.." http://tfl.nu/m6cj
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (1487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired http://tfl.nu/eibd
  Replies (80) Good night (2120) Bad night (34012)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (108) Good night (1838) Bad night (34437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6142) Bad night (39422)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (183) Good night (53936) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/c1w6
  Replies (139) Good night (42577) Bad night (8880)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (52) Good night (68148) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (130) Good night (57779) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (151) Good night (62664) Bad night (2950)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (232) Good night (61989) Bad night (2128)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (285) Good night (60320) Bad night (3668)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (178) Good night (89855) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

  (917): View more from New York City

  You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job (917): You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth. http://tfl.nu/dvgd
  Replies (15) Good night (5516) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob
  Replies (19) Good night (1529) Bad night (5197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (12) Good night (8475) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  god. i hate danny gokey.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  he's mormon right? lame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): god. i hate danny gokey. (1-614): Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk. (614): he's mormon right? lame. http://tfl.nu/r00r
  Replies (45) Good night (586) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school http://tfl.nu/ysoe
  Replies (59) Good night (9758) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (982) Bad night (1609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (199) Good night (82960) Bad night (6404)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (178) Good night (82688) Bad night (2374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (165) Good night (87455) Bad night (3242) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (124) Good night (122213) Bad night (2212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (405) Good night (100877) Bad night (8674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136698) Bad night (8407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (375) Good night (124210) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1608) Good night (161219) Bad night (40080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (468) Good night (165212) Bad night (6020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?

  (518): View more from New York

  Doritoesssssss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss (301): OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with? (518): Doritoesssssss http://tfl.nu/528p
  Replies (41) Good night (12478) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after http://tfl.nu/tns7
  Replies (38) Good night (13934) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (15595) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/gosl
  Replies (40) Good night (34723) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (121) Good night (44041) Bad night (1351)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48646) Bad night (1814)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex". http://tfl.nu/cd1v
  Replies (40) Good night (18648) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward. http://tfl.nu/yset
  Replies (16) Good night (4485) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where's it at?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  In your pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now. (1-706): Where's it at? (706): In your pants. http://tfl.nu/w8ar
  Replies (19) Good night (6995) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  What's he like?

  (954): View more from Florida

  The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): What's he like? (954): The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/zcji
  Replies (29) Good night (6991) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish" http://tfl.nu/scbq
  Replies (21) Good night (1322) Bad night (5283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w
  Replies (25) Good night (1072) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj
  Replies (37) Good night (9275) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover. http://tfl.nu/xecz
  Replies (18) Good night (6230) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it. http://tfl.nu/q114
  Replies (10) Good night (7240) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina. (614): Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money http://tfl.nu/rx4e
  Replies (27) Good night (6421) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew http://tfl.nu/fmsn
  Replies (16) Good night (6968) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (5615) Bad night (1880) Order T-Shirt