Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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