Texts From Last Night · dyzzie's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

dyzzie's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

Fav 7 2881 969
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

Fav 14 1257 2146
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

(704): View more from North Carolina

Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

Fav 8 1719 1007
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

Fav 14 6867 1219
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.

Fav 9 2205 945
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

Fav 10 2487 1006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

(410): View more from Maryland

you are way too vulgar to be a girl

Fav 20 8729 1448
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

(802): View more from Vermont

So basically you were a dog.

Fav 14 8750 1359
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT