Texts From Last Night · kalacakes's Favorites

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kalacakes's Favorites Texts:

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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(425): View more from Washington

I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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(303): View more from Colorado

Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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(480): View more from Arizona

You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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(520): View more from Arizona

Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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