the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
