I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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