Texts From Last Night

xxhannah1616's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea http://tfl.nu/nwiv
  Replies (15) Good night (5288) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices". http://tfl.nu/jiwo
  Replies (23) Good night (4635) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow. http://tfl.nu/kcye
  Replies (8) Good night (3544) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes http://tfl.nu/lgb8
  Replies (3) Good night (3757) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance. http://tfl.nu/csuc
  Replies (171) Good night (3768) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other. http://tfl.nu/93c9
  Replies (7) Good night (3145) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off. http://tfl.nu/eb22
  Replies (15) Good night (4463) Bad night (1531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie! http://tfl.nu/p3px
  Replies (27) Good night (1739) Bad night (3606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (20) Good night (6134) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (8728) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (3670) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  that's what penises do

  (254): View more from Texas

  they tell lies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4301) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (10) Good night (3537) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Absence makes the cock grow harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1
  Replies (17) Good night (6338) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup. http://tfl.nu/otef
  Replies (13) Good night (3983) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4411) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what to do

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  with your life?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i dont know what to do (1-732): with your life? (732): no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3 http://tfl.nu/i8yp
  Replies (17) Good night (4688) Bad night (1923)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years. http://tfl.nu/9eix
  Replies (10) Good night (5940) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6113) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf
  Replies (17) Good night (5663) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual. http://tfl.nu/97w0
  Replies (44) Good night (12455) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ask politely.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats good enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Ask politely. (610): Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you? (484): Thats good enough. http://tfl.nu/nxir
  Replies (61) Good night (12686) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all. http://tfl.nu/c3dm
  Replies (16) Good night (5714) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure. http://tfl.nu/ruyi
  Replies (10) Good night (5580) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48654) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (4951) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me. http://tfl.nu/z6ig
  Replies (20) Good night (8932) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (43) Good night (14193) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice http://tfl.nu/hsgc
  Replies (45) Good night (14045) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (12963) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (18604) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet." http://tfl.nu/s1m4
  Replies (52) Good night (15178) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (98) Good night (32300) Bad night (3093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
  Replies (44) Good night (24326) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (15595) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised http://tfl.nu/5ukp
  Replies (10) Good night (3611) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (4957) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah. http://tfl.nu/5le1
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (3979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d
  Replies (17) Good night (834) Bad night (3472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head. http://tfl.nu/lfdj
  Replies (103) Good night (17058) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees http://tfl.nu/kant
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we
  Replies (64) Good night (1675) Bad night (4550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
  Replies (10) Good night (4436) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off http://tfl.nu/2ezh
  Replies (63) Good night (1036) Bad night (9232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings. http://tfl.nu/9pm8
  Replies (26) Good night (5489) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now http://tfl.nu/10rh
  Replies (58) Good night (1009) Bad night (12708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw
  Replies (48) Good night (5677) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
  Replies (30) Good night (27432) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i
  Replies (53) Good night (9837) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads. (917): Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful. http://tfl.nu/kyyh
  Replies (23) Good night (7053) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened. http://tfl.nu/8b76
  Replies (33) Good night (3567) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn
  Replies (75) Good night (20722) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. http://tfl.nu/ezjd
  Replies (16) Good night (5078) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends http://tfl.nu/27cl
  Replies (32) Good night (4073) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
  Replies (56) Good night (25371) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on??? http://tfl.nu/8had
  Replies (51) Good night (783) Bad night (4664) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is http://tfl.nu/bwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (8932) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead. http://tfl.nu/dy9t
  Replies (23) Good night (4390) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3543) Bad night (17368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1029) Bad night (3265)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk
  Replies (25) Good night (6166) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml
  Replies (40) Good night (5540) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7397) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off http://tfl.nu/t5im
  Replies (47) Good night (1632) Bad night (3312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm
  Replies (45) Good night (5204) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (637) Bad night (4313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/a138
  Replies (60) Good night (2013) Bad night (7301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (27093) Bad night (2261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2108) Bad night (4813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me. http://tfl.nu/gnbi
  Replies (55) Good night (5832) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom. http://tfl.nu/gtvn
  Replies (39) Good night (903) Bad night (3660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that. http://tfl.nu/ix7p
  Replies (15) Good night (3746) Bad night (1573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche http://tfl.nu/hcs6
  Replies (50) Good night (1469) Bad night (6422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (27354) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx
  Replies (44) Good night (5904) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (171) Good night (49213) Bad night (5112)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see. http://tfl.nu/wyhs
  Replies (30) Good night (465) Bad night (2948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/g56z
  Replies (13) Good night (3414) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah. http://tfl.nu/e2zc
  Replies (71) Good night (655) Bad night (6546) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5055) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons.... (1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father? http://tfl.nu/vh34
  Replies (31) Good night (838) Bad night (5034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed http://tfl.nu/nwxf
  Replies (15) Good night (3857) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  clearly you are not from wisconsin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve (608): clearly you are not from wisconsin http://tfl.nu/j6wr
  Replies (103) Good night (7339) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it. http://tfl.nu/dv65
  Replies (45) Good night (10486) Bad night (2281)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4379) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade. http://tfl.nu/fybc
  Replies (77) Good night (458) Bad night (7103) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I love watching others lives come down to our level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I love watching others lives come down to our level. http://tfl.nu/pfmq
  Replies (5) Good night (3841) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person. http://tfl.nu/od1c
  Replies (46) Good night (6735) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent. http://tfl.nu/jxt2
  Replies (108) Good night (13216) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore http://tfl.nu/jp8t
  Replies (19) Good night (679) Bad night (3852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (827) Bad night (3784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ecxc
  Replies (11) Good night (1166) Bad night (4606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff
  Replies (62) Good night (6102) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq" http://tfl.nu/vhsj
  Replies (19) Good night (1396) Bad night (3054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/an7n
  Replies (57) Good night (491) Bad night (4921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it? http://tfl.nu/3moc
  Replies (52) Good night (1643) Bad night (4504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues http://tfl.nu/8qyh
  Replies (22) Good night (4357) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer http://tfl.nu/cllh
  Replies (118) Good night (22193) Bad night (1988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this. http://tfl.nu/o1x8
  Replies (51) Good night (12070) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (30929) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Some milfs here doing some blow

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Dad?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Some milfs here doing some blow (1-203): Dad? http://tfl.nu/14p7
  Replies (64) Good night (3432) Bad night (7894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats. http://tfl.nu/8c7z
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (3606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber http://tfl.nu/w4rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1420) Bad night (4648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life? http://tfl.nu/fbf0
  Replies (43) Good night (3870) Bad night (1375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9
  Replies (36) Good night (3281) Bad night (3534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face http://tfl.nu/4e48
  Replies (38) Good night (4184) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8
  Replies (47) Good night (1117) Bad night (3637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc
  Replies (45) Good night (4639) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone. http://tfl.nu/ph56
  Replies (57) Good night (2423) Bad night (4518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui
  Replies (50) Good night (6506) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/zwfn
  Replies (25) Good night (7290) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
  Replies (21) Good night (4598) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4136) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself http://tfl.nu/ot4u
  Replies (30) Good night (4948) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  mine is 'the'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1
  Replies (32) Good night (8656) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it. http://tfl.nu/9gem
  Replies (48) Good night (1553) Bad night (5642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter. http://tfl.nu/wtfv
  Replies (26) Good night (4822) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (2810) Bad night (4798) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him. http://tfl.nu/b6v7
  Replies (49) Good night (8441) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6588) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical. http://tfl.nu/onyl
  Replies (42) Good night (9412) Bad night (1254) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped. http://tfl.nu/504u
  Replies (65) Good night (6240) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside http://tfl.nu/1bna
  Replies (85) Good night (6759) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  is drinking for groundhog day legit?

  (1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

  well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): is drinking for groundhog day legit? (1-484): well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes http://tfl.nu/k04d
  Replies (24) Good night (5904) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (15026) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz
  Replies (27) Good night (1152) Bad night (8507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic? http://tfl.nu/xncy
  Replies (71) Good night (7672) Bad night (1237) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (292) Good night (69191) Bad night (1984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (12894) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you http://tfl.nu/n6kx
  Replies (20) Good night (5924) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time? (702): not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning http://tfl.nu/nxoz
  Replies (23) Good night (2344) Bad night (4037)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
  Replies (19) Good night (5370) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world. http://tfl.nu/0fm4
  Replies (9) Good night (6235) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (78) Good night (9119) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9291) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock" http://tfl.nu/hksp
  Replies (30) Good night (8666) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9
  Replies (57) Good night (7919) Bad night (1727) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application http://tfl.nu/aq16
  Replies (7) Good night (3348) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Strong 6

  (516): View more from New York

  That's an oxymoron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck? (201): Strong 6 (516): That's an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/n45n
  Replies (32) Good night (1065) Bad night (4062)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe
  Replies (51) Good night (6851) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1470) Bad night (10346)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn
  Replies (25) Good night (10160) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man. http://tfl.nu/ikii
  Replies (36) Good night (4787) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar. (1-703): I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up? http://tfl.nu/a4zj
  Replies (55) Good night (11278) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9143) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Does God suck his dick?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God." (1-270): Does God suck his dick? http://tfl.nu/w42a
  Replies (104) Good night (1010) Bad night (5456) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like. http://tfl.nu/djvv
  Replies (21) Good night (996) Bad night (5283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry. http://tfl.nu/w271
  Replies (10) Good night (4967) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (71) Good night (17659) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (499) Good night (82815) Bad night (7566)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (434) Good night (107955) Bad night (8844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (484) Good night (128188) Bad night (5060)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (298) Good night (96139) Bad night (5008)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time. (970): I'm that good. http://tfl.nu/qp5j
  Replies (5) Good night (3873) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv
  Replies (157) Good night (1756) Bad night (17171)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7364) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves http://tfl.nu/4g59
  Replies (25) Good night (5208) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (5797) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (385) Good night (39830) Bad night (3547)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god. http://tfl.nu/34d8
  Replies (65) Good night (12913) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  No. Take one for the team.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed? (1-314): No. Take one for the team. http://tfl.nu/7euo
  Replies (19) Good night (953) Bad night (3792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (52344) Bad night (3941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (124): Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all. http://tfl.nu/q25u
  Replies (106) Good night (30061) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu
  Replies (46) Good night (6985) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA? http://tfl.nu/qz9z
  Replies (23) Good night (4624) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem. http://tfl.nu/9i07
  Replies (30) Good night (4883) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (17138) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write http://tfl.nu/1t11
  Replies (48) Good night (8571) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va
  Replies (36) Good night (6407) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension http://tfl.nu/bl0j
  Replies (46) Good night (1469) Bad night (4907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc
  Replies (45) Good night (9635) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love. http://tfl.nu/wggk
  Replies (10) Good night (5783) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday

  (1-646): View more from New York

  mom would be proud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday (1-646): mom would be proud http://tfl.nu/m6gx
  Replies (24) Good night (4020) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (15386) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool. http://tfl.nu/7f4d
  Replies (11) Good night (3502) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt
  Replies (25) Good night (5212) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8
  Replies (32) Good night (5054) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit... http://tfl.nu/fzja
  Replies (60) Good night (4346) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

  (206): View more from Washington

  youre the best friend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it (206): youre the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/6oyc
  Replies (45) Good night (19374) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
  Replies (27) Good night (5909) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l
  Replies (33) Good night (1044) Bad night (4931)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv
  Replies (63) Good night (2551) Bad night (5646)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  i always knew you were classy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom.... (1-605): i always knew you were classy http://tfl.nu/hf24
  Replies (44) Good night (1617) Bad night (4937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (148) Good night (10879) Bad night (1813)