Texts From Last Night · xxhannah1616's Favorites

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xxhannah1616's Favorites Texts:

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(928): View more from Arizona

note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea

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(620): View more from Kansas

The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

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(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(801): View more from Utah

Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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(415): View more from California

You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

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(254): View more from Texas

that's what penises do

(254): View more from Texas

they tell lies.

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