dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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