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  • Hello. I'm god and I don't exist.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:39am
  • this is hilarious and it's even funnier seeing everyone get upset.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:47am
  • The people saying god hates fags might not even be Christians,shit for brains take a few seconds to actually let your one and only brain cell process what you're trying to think about ey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 5:53am
  • These comments are fucking ridiculous. The actual guy that said "Does God suck his dick" is one of my really good friends. He's a complete smart ass and was trying to lighten the situation... He's a Christian, and so am I. It wasn't a knock at Christianity. It's a funny comment. End of story.

    Submitted by wdc on Jan 31, 10 at 1:33am
  • Dang that must more then we think it does. Lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:56pm
  • God is a fictional character meant to comfort people. @1:40, fuck your lame ass. Live your ONE life how you want to, not a fictional work written by various people who weren't even alive in the BC years or in the beginning AD years. Lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:02am
  • @1:42 you mean ex-boyfriend right?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:04am
  • Gig em jesus

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:21pm
  • @3:42 shut the fuck up. if you're so god-worthy, why the fuck are you punching people?

    Submitted by sunchild on Jan 24, 10 at 5:49am
  • no, he sucks God's dick, duh.

    Submitted by takeitslow on Jan 23, 10 at 11:53pm
  • He needs to listen to more NIN

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:51am
    • Yeah, that's a hell of a lot easier and more enjoyable then studying religion. XD

      Submitted by Vilexxica on Jan 24, 10 at 9:45am
  • I agree with 2:13 and 2:14. I used to have the Same mentality. Why are people so ready to reject? I know it was because I am stubborn. Bu what makes people call us clowns or idiots?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:20am
  • Lmao it's funy how as soon as I read this I thought of NIN's "closer". Which has EVERYTHING to do with sex. Am I the only one?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 7:52pm
  • "get closer to God" was his nice way of saying you suck as a girl friend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 5:53pm
  • You're all fucking ridiculous. The only problem with this text is that the guy can't get closer to god whilst getting his dick sucked. There's no insult towards Christianity anywhere. If that's how you want to take it then you're a fucking moron that doesn't deserve heaven after death.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:02am
    • Fuck you nobody likes a religious bitch like you who think others are getting boned by the devil after death, people like you are the reason these people are making anti-christian comments and 7 million people died at the hands of the catholic church, go kill yourself!!!

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 7:59pm
  • Damn bible thumpers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:26pm
  • I dont. I believe there is no true god. Are you calling me wrong?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:26am
  • Can we just accept the fact that this is funny because the second person is suggesting the obvious inability of God to act in the exact capacity as the girlfriend had. It was just a slightly jarring, ironic response. End.

    Submitted by MollyB on Jan 24, 10 at 11:43am
  • You are both tools

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:24pm
  • @210: severe emotional problems? you're the one with comfort issues if you have to rely on a fictional character to get by on your daily life.

    Submitted by sunchild on Jan 24, 10 at 5:51am
  • Of course it's from Kentucky.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:05am
  • This one needs to go. I love the crude and vulgar texts on here but this person clearly has no respect for anyone and suffers from what looks like a severe emotional problem.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:10am
  • I appreciate how the word " God " is used and everyone automatically assumes it is the Christian God they're talking about. Self-absorbed much?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 9:59am
  • This is real sad.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:19am
  • Hi don't Christ god Jesus god buddah Allah hdhdhshsbsjsj shahs aha s

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:17pm
  • I'm Muslim and I think this is hilarious. DIE INFADELS!!!!!!!! ALALALALALAA JEEHAD

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 9:26am
  • So I guess he's saying you're a filthy, godless heathen.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:19pm
  • Hahahahaha, I love 10:38!!!!! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 29, 10 at 2:15pm
  • Lmfaoooo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:05am
  • Nasty and vile. If she anything like her friend, the OP, no wonder he broke up with her.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:50pm
  • The college station comment was in reference to the gig em Jesus comment you stupid fucks that's why I replied directly to that comment.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:54pm
  • Christianity is nothing but fear-based bullshit. "Do what I say or you go to hell"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 7:59am
  • Hahahah funny shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:50am
  • How about: the natural state of man is to have no religion? It's all down to where and when youre born and how you're raised. I think people turn 'anti-god' because of the extent to which he's prevelent in everyday life despite his existence being a matter of faith.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 12:28pm
  • Religious fools. Your God does suck dick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 10:38am
  • Can someone please tell me how this is a shot at Christianity? I'm Jewish and worship the same god you do and I'm not offended, I understand the joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 9:00am
  • 12:31, this is just another reason why people like you should google something before they post it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 5:17pm
    • Gig em Jesus: Just like Gig em Aggies but only dumber. I was referring to the obvious Texas A&M slogan which is located in College Station, Tx. I wasn't inferring that the original text came from CS. Thanks and Gig em. Asshat.

      Submitted by anon33 on Jan 25, 10 at 12:02am
  • Not college station at all. Dumbasses.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:34pm
  • God is not real it's just pounded into your head when you're a child. He has the same relevance in life as Santa clause except when your old enough you are told the truth bout Santa too bad not the same bout god. Maybe people would stop treating each other differently because of stupid religion

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:04pm
  • People using this text to bash on Christians. Lol I every time I've met an asshole trying to oppress my religion with their insults Ive checked them with my fist. Are all anti god people weak and defenseless?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:42am
    • ...you're fucking stupid.

      Submitted by uneed2calmdown on Jan 24, 10 at 10:49pm
    • u are in the most predominant relgion in the world you can't be oppressed and even if we are oppressing you christians have dished out this shit since Christ died!!!!

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 8:04pm
  • Chill people. Not everyones religious, so keep your views to yourself. If you think it's wrong than fine, don't laugh at it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:28am
  • Fuck you! I hate fucking Christians and I hope they all fucking die. I'm tired of people trying to convert me, they are worse than telemarketers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:29am
  • In Sovet Russia, they don't even make jokes about God.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:59am
  • Yes yes he does

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:12am
  • I can laugh at just about everything but not this one. Gotta draw a line somewhere.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:38am
  • Ha ha, 3:42 you pansy. That's some funny shit. You're sick of people 'oppressing' the worlds largest religion with their words?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 12:07pm
  • My boyfriend had the same excuse!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:42am
  • Hello. Im God. And now Im offended too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:13am
  • People who think everyone is having a go at Christian's too much, what about all the other racist comments on other TFLN or comments saying 'God Hates Fags' - can dish it out but just can't take it ay.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 5:34am
  • Right on 4:25. Couldn't have said it better myself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:48am
  • Lame 

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:16pm
  • In God we trust.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:36am
  • Holy shit, same thing just happened to me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:44pm
  • First. I want to kill myself now

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:18pm
  • Lame

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:15pm
  • Funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 9:34am
  • Lol wasting your lives worshipping a made up man. Oh well atleast I'm fulfilling my life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:28am
  • I don't get how everyone says this is sooo bad. It's funny and if y'all can't get off your high horse and take it for what it is (a stupid text not some anti god crusade) then that's ur issue, not everyone elses....don't take out ur misplaced anger about ur religion on every1 else

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:40am
  • January 24 1:40: God is supposed to come before you... hahahahahahaha...hahaha...ha...ha... Come/cum.... I see what you really meant ;D

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:22am
  • Some people are really messed up! I feel sorry for that friend

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:26am
  • Hahaha dumbasses can't wait til god smites all of the non believersa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:26am
    • it's hard to be smitten by a non-existent entity

      Submitted by takeitslow on Jan 24, 10 at 6:16pm
    • it's a figment of your imagination which only exists in your universe, in my universe you just live it all over again, constructivism pwns!!!! i pick my own reality!!!! as do we all the rest of u just don't realize this...

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 8:01pm
  • Does he suck God's dick?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:06am
  • Om Mani Padme Hum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 7:51am
  • No I do

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:16am
  • My name Is pastor Allah and I DON'T approve this message

    Submitted by zachneedg2 on Sep 26, 10 at 1:04am
  • Thank you 11:43. Thank you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:49am
  • Clowns

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:15am
  • LOL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:41pm
  • So much anger... Just lol or thumbs down! No one cares if you eat the damn cracker or not!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 25, 10 at 1:24pm
  • You should respect is religious views

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:17am
  • Yes, because everyone knows there is only one true god, he I'd FSM!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 10:43am
  • @6:39 doesn't Christianity teach to turn the other cheek?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 7:42am
  • Evidently he was respectful of your relgious views. Why is it such a big deal to return the favor? It's not like he shoved it in your face and crammed it down your throat.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:34pm
  • This isn't even College Station you dumbass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:03pm
  • Angry about the txt=fox watchin, o'reilly dick sucki assholes!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 5:26pm
  • yes

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:26am
  • Oldly enough this has happened to a friend before and I said the same thing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:37am
  • Fiiiiirst

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:21pm
  • @ 2:28 So how are you fulfilling your life?? By putting down others and being ignorant to culture and others beliefs?? I personally believe in god and I'm not compromising anything that I want to do so. So I think that you have some skewed ideas about how things work. How about you educate yourself a bit about life then come back and try again?? Oh, and God loves you anyways! =) <3

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:25am
  • This is hilarious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 9:25am
  • So if God dosen't exist like you say he dosen't, why does the name of Jesus make you so crazy? I know the tooth fairy doesn't exist, yet, you don't see me starting a whole crusade against. Just tell the turth, you know God exists, you just don't want to serve him, I would at least have respect for you Telling the truth!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 3:40am
    • well, people are rarely (or so i assume) killed in the tooth fairy's name

      Submitted by jack on Jan 24, 10 at 8:00am
    • No it makes us crazy because jesus was a good guy who started what was supposed to be a good religion, every time a christian uses his name it makes me sick because you guys fucked it up big time....

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 8:05pm
  • i live in 270 and was on facebook and saw a guy named ryan post a comment on why he was single and it said to get closer to god. lmao if this is the same guy hahaha

    Submitted by reveen on Jan 27, 10 at 3:48am
  • 5:49 when some one mocks my religion right in front of me,I react. And no that doesn't make me any less god worthy. And any one who runs their christian hating mouth from the safety of their home is a spineless coward.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 6:39am
    • Fuck you I'll kick your ass right now you little bitch..... I'd make angels and demons come true, except with the vatican exploding, one less problem in the world...

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 8:08pm
  • I'm Christian but not hardcore and I don't get mad at any texts on here but this is really just terrible

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 4:41am
  • Uhhh this is wrong on sooo many levels. God is supposed to come before you anyway and asking that is really horrible.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:40am
    • god gave us free choice so fuck it we can do whatever we want including put ourselves first. Hubris hasn't caused a smiting in thousands of years!!!!

      Submitted by supercreep on Feb 1, 10 at 8:02pm
  • Good ole western Kentucky! Hahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 23, 10 at 11:48pm
  • For the people who Don't believe in christ: I'm not perfect and I sin all the time. I admit it As a Christian. But if you pray to God about One thing you're having a problem with, I promise You something in your life will Change for the good. Just try it and see.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:14am
    • what's up With the random Capitalization? My favorite Is how "don't" is capitalized But not "christ."

      Submitted by jack on Jan 24, 10 at 8:03am
  • Most certainly

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 1:52am
  • This isn't even funny, good thing he left you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:13am
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