Texts From Last Night · bh1363's Favorites

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bh1363's Favorites Texts:

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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(305): View more from Florida

If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink

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(631): View more from New York

conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

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(317): View more from Indiana

If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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