they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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