Texts From Last Night

RadMuffin's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9605) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (12720) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?" http://tfl.nu/1qvw
  Replies (18) Good night (5157) Bad night (1280) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away http://tfl.nu/wxv7
  Replies (15) Good night (957) Bad night (3961) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx
  Replies (22) Good night (8936) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (5082) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd
  Replies (24) Good night (952) Bad night (5524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/b9xq
  Replies (35) Good night (8303) Bad night (1213) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot" http://tfl.nu/gtmt
  Replies (7) Good night (4992) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon... http://tfl.nu/do0i
  Replies (94) Good night (20297) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (31) Good night (11835) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (8879) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (36456) Bad night (4989)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (37948) Bad night (1143) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko
  Replies (47) Good night (5402) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51551) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
  Replies (33) Good night (7307) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water http://tfl.nu/ivkw
  Replies (14) Good night (5251) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs. http://tfl.nu/uj0s
  Replies (19) Good night (7065) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (3887) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl
  Replies (11) Good night (6598) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard http://tfl.nu/4drm
  Replies (22) Good night (7955) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect. http://tfl.nu/l0ek
  Replies (58) Good night (9064) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0
  Replies (19) Good night (6297) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie. http://tfl.nu/a1e2
  Replies (12) Good night (3804) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (28) Good night (16329) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed http://tfl.nu/38z7
  Replies (25) Good night (10442) Bad night (1161) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12705) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her (860): but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!" (860): but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies http://tfl.nu/084i
  Replies (42) Good night (2489) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it. http://tfl.nu/91c2
  Replies (23) Good night (7075) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit http://tfl.nu/6wkt
  Replies (12) Good night (9453) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance? http://tfl.nu/nz1e
  Replies (8) Good night (5251) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (19377) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks. http://tfl.nu/giz7
  Replies (14) Good night (4720) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (25178) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw
  Replies (33) Good night (1866) Bad night (5923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (6791) Bad night (2346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort. http://tfl.nu/ivbh
  Replies (71) Good night (19588) Bad night (1794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02
  Replies (21) Good night (6915) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This explains a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner.... (732): This explains a lot. http://tfl.nu/s7a0
  Replies (24) Good night (8532) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (6814) Bad night (1924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns. http://tfl.nu/xebd
  Replies (56) Good night (13462) Bad night (1335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  grab my backpack.....its in the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): grab my backpack.....its in the fridge http://tfl.nu/prjt
  Replies (19) Good night (7745) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. http://tfl.nu/k06t
  Replies (47) Good night (9620) Bad night (1921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b
  Replies (7) Good night (5383) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer? http://tfl.nu/a07e
  Replies (20) Good night (6378) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr
  Replies (31) Good night (7762) Bad night (1386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts. http://tfl.nu/ijh6
  Replies (14) Good night (4339) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals http://tfl.nu/h68j
  Replies (33) Good night (8609) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect? (503): Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam? http://tfl.nu/p9dl
  Replies (71) Good night (6321) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2361) Bad night (7571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest http://tfl.nu/t110
  Replies (22) Good night (5169) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a
  Replies (12) Good night (8155) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12584) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

  (1-619): View more from California

  I am not bailing you of of jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now.. (1-619): I am not bailing you of of jail http://tfl.nu/exjk
  Replies (19) Good night (6230) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5
  Replies (16) Good night (5858) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel. http://tfl.nu/fcxh
  Replies (21) Good night (4581) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned? http://tfl.nu/6bz7
  Replies (15) Good night (5084) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (12362) Bad night (1462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25118) Bad night (2643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it http://tfl.nu/fti9
  Replies (11) Good night (4967) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj
  Replies (22) Good night (2465) Bad night (4765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head. http://tfl.nu/x66l
  Replies (20) Good night (7643) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it. http://tfl.nu/eofg
  Replies (11) Good night (1162) Bad night (6056) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (48) Good night (12813) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser http://tfl.nu/r42a
  Replies (30) Good night (10595) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
  Replies (26) Good night (10245) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room. http://tfl.nu/c4g1
  Replies (19) Good night (7209) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg http://tfl.nu/cjr9
  Replies (65) Good night (18313) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck. http://tfl.nu/pefb
  Replies (8) Good night (1382) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you? (1-918): Woah. (918): that's not how you spell hell yes. http://tfl.nu/i519
  Replies (56) Good night (7289) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3473) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/h3cm
  Replies (21) Good night (5513) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands. http://tfl.nu/sr1t
  Replies (26) Good night (5907) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (8757) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio
  Replies (16) Good night (6189) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out. http://tfl.nu/nbi4
  Replies (12) Good night (8628) Bad night (1402) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it. http://tfl.nu/duoc
  Replies (37) Good night (3323) Bad night (4577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7569) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (7838) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before http://tfl.nu/c2z8
  Replies (26) Good night (5731) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  fair is fair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it (484): fair is fair http://tfl.nu/tm5x
  Replies (20) Good night (5988) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I thought you said his peep was too small

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I thought you said his peep was too small (1-505): it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on. http://tfl.nu/ttsw
  Replies (11) Good night (586) Bad night (1675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168220) Bad night (42145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w
  Replies (40) Good night (3752) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff http://tfl.nu/b3xl
  Replies (83) Good night (11898) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO (908) dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me http://tfl.nu/s889
  Replies (27) Good night (3970) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  We need to get cat food

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): We need to get cat food (713): Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms http://tfl.nu/t07l
  Replies (23) Good night (5194) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum. http://tfl.nu/f301
  Replies (24) Good night (6217) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6339) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex
  Replies (24) Good night (4270) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Rock

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Scissors

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Rock (630): Scissors (630): Fuck http://tfl.nu/tdxv
  Replies (15) Good night (2394) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  yo i have your phone

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  ... oh so you probably won't get this message

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): yo i have your phone (202):... oh so you probably won't get this message http://tfl.nu/0ifv
  Replies (14) Good night (1959) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b
  Replies (27) Good night (1257) Bad night (8981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/9omq
  Replies (12) Good night (6616) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/9iko
  Replies (118) Good night (26863) Bad night (4284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7
  Replies (38) Good night (2435) Bad night (6065)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9
  Replies (44) Good night (5291) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (30843) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer... http://tfl.nu/1ty6
  Replies (28) Good night (3110) Bad night (6293) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (7765) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (46) Good night (14085) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73358) Bad night (2462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian. http://tfl.nu/fuqa
  Replies (46) Good night (4373) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (28633) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3
  Replies (12) Good night (5687) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world. http://tfl.nu/0x21
  Replies (23) Good night (4997) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (11852) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY. http://tfl.nu/lkyy
  Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (4921)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (27865) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later http://tfl.nu/a02r
  Replies (26) Good night (7492) Bad night (1866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7169) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way http://tfl.nu/08qt
  Replies (22) Good night (9026) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/520f
  Replies (31) Good night (2443) Bad night (7071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (60829) Bad night (1886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1061) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love. http://tfl.nu/hfkg
  Replies (12) Good night (859) Bad night (3672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall http://tfl.nu/fpdq
  Replies (36) Good night (8191) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8485) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight? http://tfl.nu/82sl
  Replies (73) Good night (9641) Bad night (2070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g
  Replies (36) Good night (6705) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (12143) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (104) Good night (38275) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway... http://tfl.nu/qwxo
  Replies (53) Good night (11998) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't. http://tfl.nu/3gl0
  Replies (15) Good night (1069) Bad night (4677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l
  Replies (24) Good night (8990) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea (1-207): probs a good idea (207): i like the whole idea of life and being alive (1-207): you sure you're not high? http://tfl.nu/e7l1
  Replies (29) Good night (5669) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket" http://tfl.nu/imu3
  Replies (13) Good night (9112) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365
  Replies (18) Good night (6215) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (6001) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8476) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472
  Replies (63) Good night (14887) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f
  Replies (35) Good night (8388) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (6913) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie. http://tfl.nu/dgs6
  Replies (28) Good night (4964) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation. http://tfl.nu/5hwm
  Replies (162) Good night (1154) Bad night (6716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): who the fuck is that kid sitting with you... (1-314): I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out. http://tfl.nu/gjl6
  Replies (15) Good night (974) Bad night (4596) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

  (206): View more from Washington

  youre the best friend ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it (206): youre the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/6oyc
  Replies (46) Good night (20352) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby. http://tfl.nu/f0c2
  Replies (96) Good night (16536) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen. http://tfl.nu/yxbj
  Replies (43) Good night (2749) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn
  Replies (37) Good night (7110) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8263) Bad night (23689)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6787) Bad night (40787)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv
  Replies (157) Good night (2020) Bad night (17661)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (148) Good night (11271) Bad night (2028)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/lixe
  Replies (35) Good night (1543) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry... http://tfl.nu/3gdb
  Replies (51) Good night (6311) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (47511) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a
  Replies (203) Good night (40000) Bad night (3192) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  how much adderall did you take today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted (1-215): how much adderall did you take today? http://tfl.nu/wkg3
  Replies (14) Good night (5198) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142113) Bad night (9305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112187) Bad night (9720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it. http://tfl.nu/lnan
  Replies (18) Good night (2032) Bad night (5895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed? (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets. http://tfl.nu/2g4o
  Replies (42) Good night (28312) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (53) Good night (72025) Bad night (2120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (12105) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month. http://tfl.nu/7dyi
  Replies (29) Good night (14508) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures http://tfl.nu/pect
  Replies (39) Good night (14398) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
  Replies (48) Good night (20337) Bad night (2051)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4
  Replies (82) Good night (30059) Bad night (2150)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone. http://tfl.nu/f9qv
  Replies (24) Good night (5347) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding. http://tfl.nu/4b44
  Replies (16) Good night (8192) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm http://tfl.nu/hl7i
  Replies (37) Good night (9041) Bad night (1500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz
  Replies (26) Good night (6544) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6
  Replies (32) Good night (8207) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  you better fuck at least one or both of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes. (1-970): you better fuck at least one or both of them. http://tfl.nu/eeo0
  Replies (12) Good night (4950) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/w8wo
  Replies (18) Good night (5325) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands http://tfl.nu/9efg
  Replies (14) Good night (4424) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland? http://tfl.nu/lpb9
  Replies (25) Good night (2875) Bad night (5385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b
  Replies (20) Good night (3695) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.' http://tfl.nu/2fkm
  Replies (17) Good night (9353) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt