Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
