Texts From Last Night · Illuminance's Favorites

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Illuminance's Favorites Texts:

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(406): View more from Montana

I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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(727): View more from Florida

Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.

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(804): View more from Virginia

We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.

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(607): View more from New York

Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

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