Texts From Last Night

nikkiannxo's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii
  Replies (19) Good night (2506) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16
  Replies (16) Good night (1948) Bad night (1971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3441) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  how was ur day?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7
  Replies (13) Good night (5990) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had. http://tfl.nu/2xlf
  Replies (28) Good night (7331) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world. http://tfl.nu/0s72
  Replies (45) Good night (5079) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd
  Replies (14) Good night (4584) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small http://tfl.nu/4mz5
  Replies (138) Good night (499) Bad night (3918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love." http://tfl.nu/xky8
  Replies (91) Good night (4237) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore. http://tfl.nu/fjzm
  Replies (39) Good night (1011) Bad night (6338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35
  Replies (14) Good night (564) Bad night (6215) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): was it more than 30 minutes? (416): ya (519): then you're in a relationship http://tfl.nu/ie8p
  Replies (34) Good night (4626) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (2643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1379) Bad night (2909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight. http://tfl.nu/6osy
  Replies (37) Good night (5367) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it http://tfl.nu/rdxn
  Replies (19) Good night (4783) Bad night (1372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with http://tfl.nu/73j2
  Replies (6) Good night (2837) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck. http://tfl.nu/z7fe
  Replies (21) Good night (7866) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf
  Replies (14) Good night (7242) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again. http://tfl.nu/gudi
  Replies (16) Good night (2469) Bad night (1317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina. (614): Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money http://tfl.nu/rx4e
  Replies (27) Good night (6421) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me http://tfl.nu/9tpu
  Replies (15) Good night (5917) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (932): View more from

  The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (932): The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change http://tfl.nu/8ts2
  Replies (13) Good night (1969) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted. http://tfl.nu/yox0
  Replies (26) Good night (7584) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex. http://tfl.nu/726q
  Replies (11) Good night (4536) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life. http://tfl.nu/j431
  Replies (54) Good night (6674) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/dxz2
  Replies (17) Good night (7994) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7vv
  Replies (13) Good night (2606) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi
  Replies (16) Good night (1617) Bad night (3745) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (116) Good night (37594) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): someone owes me an orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7wj
  Replies (17) Good night (1251) Bad night (3031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom
  Replies (25) Good night (7301) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/l4im
  Replies (12) Good night (4259) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids http://tfl.nu/b5v5
  Replies (25) Good night (9240) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him. http://tfl.nu/k4ub
  Replies (21) Good night (3798) Bad night (1571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4554) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you. http://tfl.nu/a48g
  Replies (14) Good night (5189) Bad night (1831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me http://tfl.nu/2y9m
  Replies (25) Good night (10696) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has. http://tfl.nu/36lp
  Replies (11) Good night (6453) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx
  Replies (20) Good night (973) Bad night (4229)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock. http://tfl.nu/lwgf
  Replies (14) Good night (3066) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis http://tfl.nu/kplw
  Replies (17) Good night (6771) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious http://tfl.nu/8hxf
  Replies (20) Good night (6670) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good... http://tfl.nu/ucmp
  Replies (14) Good night (1835) Bad night (2700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play. http://tfl.nu/jglo
  Replies (9) Good night (823) Bad night (3864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl
  Replies (23) Good night (7607) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING (617): you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me. http://tfl.nu/bj47
  Replies (33) Good night (7831) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move... (412): Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am. http://tfl.nu/4pbg
  Replies (13) Good night (5171) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs. http://tfl.nu/4p26
  Replies (23) Good night (994) Bad night (6590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands." http://tfl.nu/l3oo
  Replies (17) Good night (8886) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  What's the big deal? you guys fuck

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): What's the big deal? you guys fuck (1-870): 3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times http://tfl.nu/e13u
  Replies (21) Good night (2599) Bad night (1374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort. http://tfl.nu/2zhz
  Replies (15) Good night (4424) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time. http://tfl.nu/0r8g
  Replies (16) Good night (2222) Bad night (3046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9
  Replies (22) Good night (5203) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit. http://tfl.nu/ykdx
  Replies (45) Good night (5025) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/q2qd
  Replies (21) Good night (9046) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style. http://tfl.nu/lnre
  Replies (30) Good night (10321) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation. http://tfl.nu/xc4n
  Replies (25) Good night (4971) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob. http://tfl.nu/xbl2
  Replies (25) Good night (9130) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (6852) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (4969) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+31): Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing http://tfl.nu/rk5x
  Replies (7) Good night (3975) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1265) Bad night (3984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (3917) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/xwvv
  Replies (13) Good night (6035) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): His dick was poking my bladder. That big... http://tfl.nu/xupw
  Replies (34) Good night (7332) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it. http://tfl.nu/klgn
  Replies (8) Good night (5862) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets... http://tfl.nu/jeys
  Replies (27) Good night (6469) Bad night (1496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick" http://tfl.nu/f333
  Replies (18) Good night (3641) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS! http://tfl.nu/o380
  Replies (49) Good night (2872) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS http://tfl.nu/1k5d
  Replies (34) Good night (7741) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things http://tfl.nu/ommx
  Replies (30) Good night (1857) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner. (419): you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio. http://tfl.nu/k9v1
  Replies (26) Good night (4072) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06
  Replies (9) Good night (1053) Bad night (2934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis. http://tfl.nu/t2k7
  Replies (14) Good night (837) Bad night (4573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country http://tfl.nu/ju5o
  Replies (9) Good night (4986) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick? http://tfl.nu/mjo7
  Replies (25) Good night (6015) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now http://tfl.nu/4ogy
  Replies (11) Good night (3474) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  His hands were made for my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): His hands were made for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/uiyy
  Replies (16) Good night (7037) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5367) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX http://tfl.nu/rv1c
  Replies (23) Good night (839) Bad night (5911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other. http://tfl.nu/nigv
  Replies (29) Good night (6458) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (26) Good night (8216) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3378) Bad night (5177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed. http://tfl.nu/zkjg
  Replies (21) Good night (4255) Bad night (1818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (21) Good night (13380) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet. http://tfl.nu/rqq2
  Replies (8) Good night (4664) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (8552) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (7806) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (23) Good night (11259) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck. http://tfl.nu/i3zz
  Replies (15) Good night (7489) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me http://tfl.nu/mrrk
  Replies (25) Good night (1465) Bad night (5744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/ob9t
  Replies (28) Good night (8653) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+06): View more from

  it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2
  Replies (36) Good night (924) Bad night (7129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i fucked a milf yesterday. (619): i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old. http://tfl.nu/l3df
  Replies (28) Good night (12660) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec
  Replies (28) Good night (962) Bad night (7988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (6615) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7027) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (100) Good night (9762) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed. http://tfl.nu/yhbt
  Replies (15) Good night (1024) Bad night (5230) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it. http://tfl.nu/ii10
  Replies (23) Good night (4597) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex." http://tfl.nu/3mha
  Replies (25) Good night (6637) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up http://tfl.nu/1mju
  Replies (19) Good night (8502) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/xzx3
  Replies (41) Good night (6934) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6
  Replies (148) Good night (1247) Bad night (5569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things. http://tfl.nu/e6ox
  Replies (36) Good night (8850) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (61) Good night (12458) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/bo6z
  Replies (22) Good night (655) Bad night (7158) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking. http://tfl.nu/qzjs
  Replies (22) Good night (5075) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5047) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn. http://tfl.nu/nwzi
  Replies (45) Good night (4628) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass http://tfl.nu/tdnt
  Replies (18) Good night (6941) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook? http://tfl.nu/084o
  Replies (16) Good night (3659) Bad night (1688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line. http://tfl.nu/o0b8
  Replies (5) Good night (4025) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Playoffs. This shit is serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight. (440): I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over. (248): Playoffs. This shit is serious. http://tfl.nu/txqi
  Replies (59) Good night (6471) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw http://tfl.nu/9zj1
  Replies (32) Good night (7781) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v
  Replies (26) Good night (10265) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder. http://tfl.nu/7khc
  Replies (81) Good night (15967) Bad night (2337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos http://tfl.nu/9f8x
  Replies (11) Good night (5202) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj
  Replies (22) Good night (2328) Bad night (4608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem. http://tfl.nu/80or
  Replies (16) Good night (868) Bad night (5823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (20575) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick. http://tfl.nu/ib3l
  Replies (23) Good night (912) Bad night (7530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better. http://tfl.nu/qcgw
  Replies (79) Good night (3606) Bad night (7337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude. http://tfl.nu/zgqp
  Replies (87) Good night (24638) Bad night (3944)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it. http://tfl.nu/8ikj
  Replies (35) Good night (1575) Bad night (4762) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5099) Bad night (1245) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he would be such an ass

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I can't believe he would be such an ass (1-561): Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything. http://tfl.nu/zk45
  Replies (7) Good night (4602) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but it's kind of a high honor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly. (402): but it's kind of a high honor. http://tfl.nu/hn5k
  Replies (30) Good night (1065) Bad night (5614)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad http://tfl.nu/bnzk
  Replies (74) Good night (11381) Bad night (3083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (11869) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella http://tfl.nu/27sq
  Replies (31) Good night (11893) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs
  Replies (35) Good night (8497) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex. http://tfl.nu/p49h
  Replies (46) Good night (13655) Bad night (1700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10223) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (20559) Bad night (2710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall http://tfl.nu/8iwm
  Replies (37) Good night (20230) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold. http://tfl.nu/55cb
  Replies (14) Good night (5581) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me. http://tfl.nu/826q
  Replies (130) Good night (13787) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype http://tfl.nu/ca23
  Replies (10) Good night (3895) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him. http://tfl.nu/d3m1
  Replies (31) Good night (10910) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4692) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j
  Replies (82) Good night (7551) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

  (1-714): View more from California

  i'm so jealous of you right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;) (1-714): i'm so jealous of you right now. http://tfl.nu/egrq
  Replies (56) Good night (8520) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now. http://tfl.nu/yhp5
  Replies (26) Good night (974) Bad night (6557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight. http://tfl.nu/18md
  Replies (83) Good night (13167) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper http://tfl.nu/swmc
  Replies (54) Good night (11635) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly http://tfl.nu/n7qz
  Replies (56) Good night (3735) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar. http://tfl.nu/t9uo
  Replies (59) Good night (4746) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw
  Replies (134) Good night (41914) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (27) Good night (8562) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch. http://tfl.nu/4x1m
  Replies (73) Good night (10159) Bad night (2134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3 http://tfl.nu/cutl
  Replies (32) Good night (5102) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved http://tfl.nu/t5ge
  Replies (32) Good night (7787) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me http://tfl.nu/nn6b
  Replies (28) Good night (11192) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma
  Replies (137) Good night (36757) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready http://tfl.nu/g5tv
  Replies (17) Good night (9653) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came. http://tfl.nu/sa7y
  Replies (29) Good night (6801) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  k i'll be over in 5.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds. (1-480): i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice. (480): k i'll be over in 5. http://tfl.nu/rkxl
  Replies (101) Good night (14051) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever. http://tfl.nu/lqf2
  Replies (73) Good night (956) Bad night (15114) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed. http://tfl.nu/kf6i
  Replies (22) Good night (6195) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock. http://tfl.nu/njgo
  Replies (166) Good night (27093) Bad night (2261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time". http://tfl.nu/gojq
  Replies (62) Good night (916) Bad night (8748) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q
  Replies (48) Good night (472) Bad night (7850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id
  Replies (39) Good night (14867) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (8795) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (130) Good night (57788) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (13351) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me". http://tfl.nu/jl9f
  Replies (210) Good night (30382) Bad night (2545)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart? http://tfl.nu/3xgk
  Replies (25) Good night (6965) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Life is so much better after having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju
  Replies (39) Good night (10863) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt