What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
