U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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