Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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