Texts From Last Night

devil_pup's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us.. http://tfl.nu/2996
  Replies (20) Good night (3284) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt http://tfl.nu/uly3
  Replies (14) Good night (1610) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob. http://tfl.nu/r18w
  Replies (5) Good night (1402) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him. http://tfl.nu/x8vu
  Replies (9) Good night (2141) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel. http://tfl.nu/cy7e
  Replies (18) Good night (1119) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1205) Bad night (1694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical. http://tfl.nu/hbh3
  Replies (9) Good night (1859) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home". http://tfl.nu/zprh
  Replies (8) Good night (1684) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that" http://tfl.nu/ex2y
  Replies (12) Good night (2330) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!

  (315): View more from New York

  I get naked cuz your not there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?! (315): I get naked cuz your not there http://tfl.nu/p9qb
  Replies (12) Good night (2659) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked. http://tfl.nu/gydy
  Replies (7) Good night (1470) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

  (1-213): View more from California

  best text I've received ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm
  Replies (16) Good night (4704) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k
  Replies (14) Good night (3130) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's the worst person, but the best naked person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (525): View more from

  It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (525): It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am? http://tfl.nu/0yre
  Replies (14) Good night (3411) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me. http://tfl.nu/jjop
  Replies (9) Good night (1835) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ...that shit cray.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet. (248): ...that shit cray. http://tfl.nu/b6yz
  Replies (14) Good night (4704) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge http://tfl.nu/ygw7
  Replies (15) Good night (2714) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head. http://tfl.nu/xpy4
  Replies (9) Good night (1988) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (27) Good night (3853) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME. http://tfl.nu/tcyr
  Replies (15) Good night (4588) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots. http://tfl.nu/uyhv
  Replies (9) Good night (712) Bad night (1738)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth http://tfl.nu/7ynn
  Replies (12) Good night (1785) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom. http://tfl.nu/0i9y
  Replies (12) Good night (4558) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (331): My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good. http://tfl.nu/opzi
  Replies (17) Good night (5135) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490
  Replies (30) Good night (5400) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over. http://tfl.nu/hufa
  Replies (21) Good night (2561) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/3986
  Replies (25) Good night (785) Bad night (3415) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed. http://tfl.nu/cilo
  Replies (62) Good night (3211) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1
  Replies (21) Good night (2049) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best? http://tfl.nu/g5yt
  Replies (15) Good night (3391) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision http://tfl.nu/1pgb
  Replies (21) Good night (4553) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘 http://tfl.nu/3lq0
  Replies (11) Good night (2393) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (867): Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win? http://tfl.nu/oq5t
  Replies (16) Good night (1442) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight." http://tfl.nu/7mfw
  Replies (23) Good night (2081) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch. http://tfl.nu/tp65
  Replies (42) Good night (3643) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk
  Replies (13) Good night (1755) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" http://tfl.nu/hwu1
  Replies (33) Good night (6561) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick. http://tfl.nu/npkp
  Replies (43) Good night (7890) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off http://tfl.nu/wsi1
  Replies (8) Good night (2959) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike? http://tfl.nu/jtxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3175) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw! http://tfl.nu/e9vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3210) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY http://tfl.nu/1b9m
  Replies (26) Good night (2960) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again http://tfl.nu/9um4
  Replies (17) Good night (714) Bad night (2002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/v9rp
  Replies (2) Good night (2428) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/wcss
  Replies (8) Good night (1906) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita. http://tfl.nu/kc15
  Replies (6) Good night (2462) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/1xbr
  Replies (17) Good night (3177) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f
  Replies (30) Good night (7451) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/zgkj
  Replies (33) Good night (8977) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk! http://tfl.nu/z1cd
  Replies (27) Good night (9067) Bad night (3963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever. http://tfl.nu/fuow
  Replies (15) Good night (5552) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8
  Replies (36) Good night (554) Bad night (2767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation http://tfl.nu/xd2t
  Replies (23) Good night (5918) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend. http://tfl.nu/kcdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2344) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3
  Replies (14) Good night (1907) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Apparently you chose the latter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour. (416): Apparently you chose the latter. http://tfl.nu/xdpl
  Replies (29) Good night (3616) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (4893) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa http://tfl.nu/56cb
  Replies (23) Good night (7216) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost. http://tfl.nu/w01g
  Replies (17) Good night (7138) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  You're a rent hooker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3560) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect http://tfl.nu/4whi
  Replies (4) Good night (5235) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend. http://tfl.nu/uai9
  Replies (6) Good night (2084) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional. http://tfl.nu/bawb
  Replies (7) Good night (2442) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (4961) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this. http://tfl.nu/7hr5
  Replies (6) Good night (3159) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head. http://tfl.nu/4vvd
  Replies (10) Good night (3695) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7
  Replies (29) Good night (468) Bad night (4235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE. http://tfl.nu/ha03
  Replies (21) Good night (4199) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Text. Mid BJ. 8 points. http://tfl.nu/1rgb
  Replies (42) Good night (2025) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium. http://tfl.nu/lfpo
  Replies (11) Good night (4510) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother. http://tfl.nu/sdoi
  Replies (14) Good night (737) Bad night (3082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  That's some true roommate bonding right there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time. (414): That's some true roommate bonding right there. http://tfl.nu/wbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (1516) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex http://tfl.nu/95h4
  Replies (7) Good night (489) Bad night (1254) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I was always good at matching as a child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her. (614): I was always good at matching as a child. http://tfl.nu/vx3e
  Replies (6) Good night (3536) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3 http://tfl.nu/7tkz
  Replies (5) Good night (3150) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/thtn
  Replies (30) Good night (7897) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9
  Replies (55) Good night (5398) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2232) Bad night (4980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2135) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark. http://tfl.nu/hjt5
  Replies (15) Good night (3191) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina http://tfl.nu/15cg
  Replies (31) Good night (3731) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete.. http://tfl.nu/bykt
  Replies (28) Good night (5224) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY

  (614): View more from Ohio

  handstands? WTF?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  she was a gymnast

  (614): View more from Ohio

   go to hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY (614): handstands? WTF? (405): she was a gymnast (614): go to hell. http://tfl.nu/pyfe
  Replies (9) Good night (2763) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was born with a shot glass in my hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I was born with a shot glass in my hand http://tfl.nu/41xg
  Replies (30) Good night (3428) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times http://tfl.nu/d78u
  Replies (15) Good night (4049) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life http://tfl.nu/8goj
  Replies (18) Good night (4542) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc
  Replies (20) Good night (8762) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious http://tfl.nu/ejqb
  Replies (15) Good night (3715) Bad night (1417)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged

  (703): View more from Virginia

  just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged (703): just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit http://tfl.nu/pac5
  Replies (61) Good night (1562) Bad night (12128)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me (973): that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world. http://tfl.nu/8ia3
  Replies (27) Good night (702) Bad night (2254)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am the king of creep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me". (262): I am the king of creep. http://tfl.nu/3401
  Replies (12) Good night (3248) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten. http://tfl.nu/1asa
  Replies (13) Good night (5509) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam http://tfl.nu/lqc4
  Replies (4) Good night (1863) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295
  Replies (4) Good night (1575) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning http://tfl.nu/dkck
  Replies (8) Good night (3528) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward. http://tfl.nu/axq6
  Replies (11) Good night (854) Bad night (3294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3
  Replies (17) Good night (9438) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  clearly you have your priorities straight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON (651): clearly you have your priorities straight http://tfl.nu/87z9
  Replies (68) Good night (4445) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex http://tfl.nu/fie1
  Replies (46) Good night (4356) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): i wish i coudl send you meat via computure http://tfl.nu/wiw5
  Replies (3) Good night (1843) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned. http://tfl.nu/df4g
  Replies (19) Good night (5802) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight? http://tfl.nu/h1kj
  Replies (10) Good night (1688) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened. http://tfl.nu/4exz
  Replies (23) Good night (6327) Bad night (2675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/zv6d
  Replies (6) Good night (5700) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp
  Replies (21) Good night (3552) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff
  Replies (62) Good night (6279) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15
  Replies (17) Good night (7257) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now. http://tfl.nu/w3yg
  Replies (7) Good night (4289) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that http://tfl.nu/ym20
  Replies (53) Good night (1255) Bad night (2842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer (919): Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can http://tfl.nu/61hu
  Replies (4) Good night (1478) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1180) Bad night (2288) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had http://tfl.nu/e6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (4710) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu
  Replies (8) Good night (934) Bad night (2769)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life. http://tfl.nu/6m4u
  Replies (10) Good night (2258) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao http://tfl.nu/axpp
  Replies (7) Good night (1322) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru
  Replies (9) Good night (3506) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak. http://tfl.nu/34fx
  Replies (30) Good night (5568) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America, http://tfl.nu/18wd
  Replies (10) Good night (3862) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I love summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week. (302): I love summer. http://tfl.nu/82u6
  Replies (13) Good night (3755) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job. http://tfl.nu/1e2u
  Replies (14) Good night (2740) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex. http://tfl.nu/mg10
  Replies (6) Good night (2048) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever http://tfl.nu/ken4
  Replies (16) Good night (3509) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and next time when you feel me up, do it right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): and next time when you feel me up, do it right http://tfl.nu/7fkv
  Replies (21) Good night (585) Bad night (3619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj
  Replies (8) Good night (3102) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku
  Replies (348) Good night (43796) Bad night (4564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc
  Replies (8) Good night (4833) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection. http://tfl.nu/4afh
  Replies (17) Good night (3968) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car. http://tfl.nu/1mzx
  Replies (50) Good night (7769) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5255) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence. http://tfl.nu/nvim
  Replies (20) Good night (7611) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g
  Replies (21) Good night (4304) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted.. http://tfl.nu/j3e7
  Replies (57) Good night (904) Bad night (15905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/dbb6
  Replies (18) Good night (1153) Bad night (3582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6
  Replies (6) Good night (652) Bad night (1533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon
  Replies (20) Good night (3757) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life. http://tfl.nu/69tk
  Replies (34) Good night (7282) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood http://tfl.nu/kses
  Replies (4) Good night (3827) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm half single.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me it's the bottom half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx
  Replies (3) Good night (2204) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!" http://tfl.nu/psh2
  Replies (10) Good night (1754) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people. http://tfl.nu/iaht
  Replies (12) Good night (13197) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (6924) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me http://tfl.nu/ptyo
  Replies (75) Good night (25635) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56847) Bad night (4690)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype http://tfl.nu/ca23
  Replies (10) Good night (4069) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (15884) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack http://tfl.nu/aa3v
  Replies (87) Good night (8827) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): We're like two naked peas in a sex pod. http://tfl.nu/sqen
  Replies (23) Good night (6240) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome http://tfl.nu/01jd
  Replies (36) Good night (9609) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you? (1-918): Woah. (918): that's not how you spell hell yes. http://tfl.nu/i519
  Replies (56) Good night (7297) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80196) Bad night (4309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me http://tfl.nu/5b8j
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20271) Bad night (2107) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend http://tfl.nu/2gsx
  Replies (74) Good night (3075) Bad night (9868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off! http://tfl.nu/woe1
  Replies (50) Good night (3237) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z
  Replies (9) Good night (3472) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life http://tfl.nu/x73d
  Replies (45) Good night (8380) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor. http://tfl.nu/qg7g
  Replies (35) Good night (4992) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally. http://tfl.nu/s601
  Replies (19) Good night (6619) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right. http://tfl.nu/x0n7
  Replies (6) Good night (3371) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right http://tfl.nu/du0e
  Replies (24) Good night (6031) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw
  Replies (50) Good night (5462) Bad night (1384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj
  Replies (24) Good night (5207) Bad night (2204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass. (1-256): That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years. (256): Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that. (1-256): Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham. http://tfl.nu/egwd
  Replies (54) Good night (4905) Bad night (652)