i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
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Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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