It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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