You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.