She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.