Texts From Last Night

amynicole87's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Absence makes the cock grow harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1
  Replies (17) Good night (6338) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem
  Replies (18) Good night (6960) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd
  Replies (19) Good night (5646) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (5012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5404) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol
  Replies (32) Good night (1333) Bad night (6606) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/pxku
  Replies (18) Good night (4456) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out http://tfl.nu/vv84
  Replies (37) Good night (880) Bad night (3240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing. http://tfl.nu/dzgt
  Replies (48) Good night (12113) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises. http://tfl.nu/xfua
  Replies (68) Good night (14051) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1347) Bad night (4477)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  we're not divorced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (470) Bad night (2834)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day" http://tfl.nu/pe7h
  Replies (33) Good night (746) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring http://tfl.nu/1aqf
  Replies (24) Good night (6706) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (7886) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad http://tfl.nu/o7wi
  Replies (32) Good night (1401) Bad night (8320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1234) Bad night (6760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5366) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
  Replies (35) Good night (4828) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You are nothing if not reliable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj
  Replies (11) Good night (4340) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name. http://tfl.nu/4teg
  Replies (13) Good night (6028) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material. http://tfl.nu/16u9
  Replies (64) Good night (5151) Bad night (2313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1
  Replies (29) Good night (4918) Bad night (1161) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant. http://tfl.nu/kaeb
  Replies (27) Good night (932) Bad night (5758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking

  (404): View more from Georgia

  how did that work out?

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking (404): how did that work out? (478): Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder... http://tfl.nu/o1yp
  Replies (15) Good night (4949) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts. http://tfl.nu/90f4
  Replies (11) Good night (3079) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1441) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  You shut your mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy (1-313): You shut your mouth http://tfl.nu/xp5b
  Replies (34) Good night (1140) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1474) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed http://tfl.nu/xhsk
  Replies (28) Good night (20167) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing http://tfl.nu/e1xa
  Replies (11) Good night (3452) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh
  Replies (19) Good night (4503) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1486) Bad night (2105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg
  Replies (21) Good night (4639) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can't find my house

  (1-845): View more from New York

  we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

  (845): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure my house moved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng
  Replies (50) Good night (12900) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me. http://tfl.nu/8txy
  Replies (13) Good night (1399) Bad night (5651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW. http://tfl.nu/izzq
  Replies (22) Good night (6273) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school... http://tfl.nu/3kmg
  Replies (28) Good night (453) Bad night (4902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics http://tfl.nu/in12
  Replies (28) Good night (432) Bad night (3407)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the worst part is we had a camera rolling

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have to watch that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): the worst part is we had a camera rolling (267): Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys? (215): Yes. (267): I have to watch that. http://tfl.nu/u325
  Replies (30) Good night (4997) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty. (803): Genius. http://tfl.nu/hci7
  Replies (25) Good night (3398) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line http://tfl.nu/rmxl
  Replies (51) Good night (9946) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself. http://tfl.nu/xysw
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (4261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke." http://tfl.nu/rseq
  Replies (48) Good night (1035) Bad night (9313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Best pick-up line ever!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever! http://tfl.nu/plrf
  Replies (35) Good night (9197) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can. http://tfl.nu/eowl
  Replies (16) Good night (5110) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (14) Good night (6140) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th http://tfl.nu/8el9
  Replies (16) Good night (1814) Bad night (4153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1115) Bad night (4602) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (555): View more from

  Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (555): Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me. http://tfl.nu/aho3
  Replies (20) Good night (5493) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good http://tfl.nu/hwo6
  Replies (14) Good night (4673) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/jbik
  Replies (9) Good night (4499) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel. http://tfl.nu/bqxg
  Replies (26) Good night (12122) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4
  Replies (35) Good night (9773) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking. http://tfl.nu/uq3n
  Replies (47) Good night (6223) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua
  Replies (27) Good night (6264) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto
  Replies (45) Good night (4963) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Shut up. I did not.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I really wish I was making that up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras. (1-918): Shut up. I did not. (918): I really wish I was making that up. http://tfl.nu/wbcz
  Replies (35) Good night (6249) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be http://tfl.nu/0ihg
  Replies (59) Good night (7832) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  that's gum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years? (815): that's gum http://tfl.nu/8le7
  Replies (42) Good night (2582) Bad night (2478)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls. (248): no http://tfl.nu/la9c
  Replies (21) Good night (529) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/99g1
  Replies (78) Good night (13556) Bad night (1907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away http://tfl.nu/wxv7
  Replies (15) Good night (832) Bad night (3819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9are
  Replies (25) Good night (4067) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing http://tfl.nu/j7xf
  Replies (26) Good night (5365) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me? http://tfl.nu/agne
  Replies (7) Good night (2387) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain. http://tfl.nu/y5sc
  Replies (32) Good night (3736) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (21) Good night (13380) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect? (503): Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam? http://tfl.nu/p9dl
  Replies (70) Good night (6105) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?" http://tfl.nu/pefr
  Replies (22) Good night (5224) Bad night (1822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e
  Replies (83) Good night (21441) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood http://tfl.nu/a9i9
  Replies (11) Good night (376) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora. http://tfl.nu/zv3b
  Replies (16) Good night (2421) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth http://tfl.nu/rgv0
  Replies (19) Good night (665) Bad night (4400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/bxd6
  Replies (20) Good night (2719) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (26) Good night (8215) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

  (714): View more from California

  he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot
  Replies (43) Good night (4305) Bad night (7973)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v
  Replies (16) Good night (4223) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me. http://tfl.nu/vc9f
  Replies (16) Good night (5622) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
  Replies (38) Good night (7207) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel." http://tfl.nu/elen
  Replies (61) Good night (4266) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (128) Good night (7629) Bad night (22863)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?

  (818): View more from California

  by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA? (818): by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ http://tfl.nu/5i2r
  Replies (43) Good night (13403) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are. http://tfl.nu/u4g1
  Replies (19) Good night (7152) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him http://tfl.nu/b7ho
  Replies (113) Good night (7493) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

  (714): View more from California

  Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Doctor said I have sports induced asthma. (714): Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape." http://tfl.nu/hfcj
  Replies (37) Good night (9275) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar. http://tfl.nu/5kvp
  Replies (9) Good night (7169) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw
  Replies (64) Good night (4676) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back. http://tfl.nu/vsft
  Replies (22) Good night (339) Bad night (1130) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you. http://tfl.nu/ejbb
  Replies (9) Good night (7430) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (1897) Bad night (9042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina http://tfl.nu/2dpv
  Replies (92) Good night (26564) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

  (1405): View more from

  I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc
  Replies (45) Good night (9635) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records. http://tfl.nu/dlha
  Replies (41) Good night (8655) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you're 26.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f
  Replies (10) Good night (448) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night http://tfl.nu/jwrk
  Replies (14) Good night (4318) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem http://tfl.nu/u45p
  Replies (26) Good night (967) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (2414) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame<div>(734): Superlame</div> http://tfl.nu/901l
  Replies (28) Good night (1467) Bad night (4259)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv
  Replies (63) Good night (2551) Bad night (5646)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (8733) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am in shape. i keep telling you that.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I am in shape. i keep telling you that. (1-313): Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape." http://tfl.nu/2t6h
  Replies (28) Good night (644) Bad night (3278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas http://tfl.nu/eh4r
  Replies (58) Good night (849) Bad night (5870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr
  Replies (17) Good night (2355) Bad night (3739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1438) Bad night (4730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1
  Replies (17) Good night (632) Bad night (4209) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text http://tfl.nu/8slp
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

  (619): View more from California

  hahahahahahahahahahaha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol
  Replies (45) Good night (3017) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5376) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that. http://tfl.nu/il0g
  Replies (15) Good night (3899) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3
  Replies (32) Good night (748) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr
  Replies (44) Good night (1091) Bad night (5107) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers. http://tfl.nu/k78j
  Replies (35) Good night (474) Bad night (7192) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj
  Replies (30) Good night (6633) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge http://tfl.nu/8lgu
  Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (1428) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes? http://tfl.nu/o5zg
  Replies (17) Good night (4235) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book http://tfl.nu/eyxq
  Replies (12) Good night (2522) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0
  Replies (27) Good night (4863) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college http://tfl.nu/vjhh
  Replies (37) Good night (6477) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week http://tfl.nu/r1k8
  Replies (7) Good night (391) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How drunk are you??

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm flawless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo
  Replies (8) Good night (1860) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64495) Bad night (2454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4
  Replies (18) Good night (5048) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2013) Bad night (4793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3
  Replies (23) Good night (4455) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win. http://tfl.nu/r148
  Replies (13) Good night (8304) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv
  Replies (17) Good night (4522) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): 'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option http://tfl.nu/mpq0
  Replies (18) Good night (4948) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward? http://tfl.nu/lg8a
  Replies (50) Good night (395) Bad night (5626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (25090) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge. http://tfl.nu/jdua
  Replies (20) Good night (1870) Bad night (3520) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down. http://tfl.nu/bkhk
  Replies (16) Good night (4351) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (19) Good night (3214) Bad night (2229) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (8817) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i wish semen tasted like chocolate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): i wish semen tasted like chocolate http://tfl.nu/nknz
  Replies (61) Good night (7770) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over. http://tfl.nu/gmxm
  Replies (35) Good night (1091) Bad night (2526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb

  (209): View more from California

  it's ELEVEN

  (310): View more from California

  thirty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb (209): it's ELEVEN (310): thirty http://tfl.nu/ukrj
  Replies (32) Good night (4398) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex. http://tfl.nu/816e
  Replies (21) Good night (4112) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting. http://tfl.nu/foam
  Replies (7) Good night (4071) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  the part where you beat me to him

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fair enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?! (1-410): the part where you beat me to him (410): fair enough. http://tfl.nu/4y3l
  Replies (18) Good night (7256) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (45) Good night (8304) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse? http://tfl.nu/h2ii
  Replies (21) Good night (2723) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/ukhl
  Replies (10) Good night (6214) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz http://tfl.nu/fhxu
  Replies (9) Good night (2823) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container? http://tfl.nu/it9b
  Replies (33) Good night (5257) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl
  Replies (44) Good night (688) Bad night (4600)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!" http://tfl.nu/07u8
  Replies (21) Good night (6317) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles http://tfl.nu/ysmu
  Replies (19) Good night (1073) Bad night (4792)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway http://tfl.nu/bm2x
  Replies (32) Good night (3321) Bad night (1501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j
  Replies (20) Good night (3558) Bad night (4170)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi
  Replies (21) Good night (815) Bad night (5643) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again. http://tfl.nu/ehlu
  Replies (20) Good night (5827) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  It's like God shit irony all over that family

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): It's like God shit irony all over that family http://tfl.nu/i9ev
  Replies (45) Good night (2301) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut. http://tfl.nu/wfck
  Replies (126) Good night (1158) Bad night (3562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She tied me up with her honor cords...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): She tied me up with her honor cords... http://tfl.nu/y0v2
  Replies (29) Good night (10533) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas... http://tfl.nu/m2r4
  Replies (19) Good night (5845) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2
  Replies (20) Good night (501) Bad night (1980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (11608) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever. http://tfl.nu/bza6
  Replies (29) Good night (8617) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1245) Bad night (5417) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh and I threw up on myself...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine (303): Oh and I threw up on myself... http://tfl.nu/hxn5
  Replies (41) Good night (1429) Bad night (6918)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion. http://tfl.nu/1y37
  Replies (23) Good night (4931) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3074) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey man your outta milk

  (541): View more from Oregon

  How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Hey man your outta milk (541): How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?! http://tfl.nu/1x3m
  Replies (17) Good night (9703) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified. http://tfl.nu/dihz
  Replies (14) Good night (4711) Bad night (1345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship... http://tfl.nu/dw4u
  Replies (23) Good night (817) Bad night (6332) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there. http://tfl.nu/8qlt
  Replies (8) Good night (2882) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (30) Good night (6049) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast http://tfl.nu/q9sr
  Replies (26) Good night (920) Bad night (7223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest. http://tfl.nu/apc8
  Replies (36) Good night (8428) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn
  Replies (196) Good night (1573) Bad night (15969)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick? http://tfl.nu/6riv
  Replies (46) Good night (3797) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  just blow him with soup in your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :( (1-440): just blow him with soup in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/7jjb
  Replies (13) Good night (2872) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Responsibility does not care about your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Responsibility does not care about your dick. http://tfl.nu/xdqb
  Replies (10) Good night (3190) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore http://tfl.nu/2pmj
  Replies (38) Good night (4886) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly
  Replies (27) Good night (353) Bad night (3821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (960) Bad night (8166)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm half single.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me it's the bottom half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx
  Replies (3) Good night (1993) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7
  Replies (53) Good night (508) Bad night (3304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hcvk
  Replies (47) Good night (4826) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know? http://tfl.nu/ihts
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (1495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (61) Good night (12458) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  The power was out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts? (1-765): The power was out. http://tfl.nu/9x7x
  Replies (17) Good night (916) Bad night (3878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (784) Bad night (7674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (199) Good night (82962) Bad night (6404)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (298) Good night (96125) Bad night (5008)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (484) Good night (128176) Bad night (5059)