Texts From Last Night · xaviorisdeath's Favorites

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xaviorisdeath's Favorites Texts:

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Trying to grind with crutches was not a success

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(970): View more from Colorado

My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.

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(330): View more from Ohio

"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yesterday you said I was the best.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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(804): View more from Virginia

The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman

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(937): View more from Ohio

It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.

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