He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
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Finally someone with some wit!!
He did not jack off on your pillow. Your hot roommate gave him a footjob, then he came on your pillow.
Ewww. WTF is wrong with ppl??
It appears you aren't a David Allen Coe fan.
Hahaha brilliant lol
First! I always wanted to say that!