So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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