Texts From Last Night · sarahclose's Favorites

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sarahclose's Favorites Texts:

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head

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(509): View more from Washington

Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.

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(810): View more from Michigan

its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

Too much penis in there.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I can't answer my phone I'm at work

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?

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