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  • Talk about cockeyed....

    Submitted by blahshutup on Jun 10, 12 at 9:11pm
  • This is why you have your bachelorette party the week before the wedding instead of the night before. All dildo related injuries have a chance to heal.

    Submitted by Barbarella32 on Jun 10, 12 at 4:55pm
  • Hopefully your husband keeps letting you have a girlfriend after you're married.

    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jun 10, 12 at 4:56pm
  • go to whole foods and buy arnicare, put it on and the bruise will be mostly gone in the morning, guaranteed. then.. stop doing stupid shit, that should help too.

    Submitted by treestreestrees on Jun 11, 12 at 12:40am
  • I think this is the groom. Too close to the crazy stripper show.

    Submitted by wellz99 on Jun 10, 12 at 7:30pm
    • You should see the stretch marks around his associates hole.

      Submitted by haliganbar on Jun 11, 12 at 6:39pm
  • Cover fx concealer Ben NYE cake makeup, use a brush for that. Set it w a MUFE compact.

    Submitted by 478 on Jun 10, 12 at 8:00pm
  • She got dicked over.

    Submitted by Nickly on Jun 11, 12 at 4:35pm
  • Make up!

    Submitted by cfreymarc on Jun 10, 12 at 10:55pm
  • IT'S ABOUT TO BE A MISSUSUNDERSTANDING. ...I'm terribly sorry.

    Submitted by thisisnot on Jun 10, 12 at 11:46pm
  • Pam Anderson is getting married again?

    Submitted by JTLovecraft on Jun 11, 12 at 11:53pm
  • Op's a dude

    Submitted by crockpot on Jun 10, 12 at 8:40pm
  • Oh fuck I would love to see that

    Submitted by PenisVagina on Jun 11, 12 at 11:56am
  • Tell her you got into a fight protecting her honor. The honeymoon sex is priceless!

    Submitted by cfreymarc on Jun 11, 12 at 1:07am
  • Just say you were defending your future spouse's honour. Few dildo bruises are recognizable as such. If you're still worried, have someone punch you just in case. Or - better, I think - brazen it out and announce that it was a dildo bruise.

    Submitted by grizzlewhisker on Jun 10, 12 at 8:19pm
  • Haha im guessing within six months you get another black eye from a right hook..... Only a misunderstanding.

    Submitted by karazyboys on Jun 10, 12 at 10:25pm
  • But of course--it's a MRS-understanding.

    Submitted by tmoh on Oct 23, 12 at 3:28am
  • Concealer + loose powder are your best friends at this point. Also ice packs.

    Submitted by GingerTimelady on Jun 10, 12 at 11:07pm