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  • Submitted by blahshutup on Jun 10, 12 at 9:11pm

    Talk about cockeyed....

  • Submitted by Barbarella32 on Jun 10, 12 at 4:55pm

    This is why you have your bachelorette party the week before the wedding instead of the night before. All dildo related injuries have a chance to heal.

  • Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jun 10, 12 at 4:56pm

    Hopefully your husband keeps letting you have a girlfriend after you're married.

  • Submitted by treestreestrees on Jun 11, 12 at 12:40am

    go to whole foods and buy arnicare, put it on and the bruise will be mostly gone in the morning, guaranteed. then.. stop doing stupid shit, that should help too.

  • Submitted by wellz99 on Jun 10, 12 at 7:30pm

    I think this is the groom. Too close to the crazy stripper show.

    • 83 93
      Submitted by haliganbar on Jun 11, 12 at 6:39pm

      You should see the stretch marks around his associates hole.

  • Submitted by 478 on Jun 10, 12 at 8:00pm

    Cover fx concealer Ben NYE cake makeup, use a brush for that. Set it w a MUFE compact.

  • Submitted by Nickly on Jun 11, 12 at 4:35pm

    She got dicked over.

  • 93 75
    Submitted by thisisnot on Jun 10, 12 at 11:46pm

    IT'S ABOUT TO BE A MISSUSUNDERSTANDING. ...I'm terribly sorry.

  • 94 87
    Submitted by cfreymarc on Jun 10, 12 at 10:55pm

    Make up!

  • 93 97
    Submitted by PenisVagina on Jun 11, 12 at 11:56am

    Oh fuck I would love to see that

  • Submitted by crockpot on Jun 10, 12 at 8:40pm

    Op's a dude

  • 81 81
    Submitted by JTLovecraft on Jun 11, 12 at 11:53pm

    Pam Anderson is getting married again?

  • 84 88
    Submitted by cfreymarc on Jun 11, 12 at 1:07am

    Tell her you got into a fight protecting her honor. The honeymoon sex is priceless!

  • Submitted by karazyboys on Jun 10, 12 at 10:25pm

    Haha im guessing within six months you get another black eye from a right hook..... Only a misunderstanding.

  • Submitted by grizzlewhisker on Jun 10, 12 at 8:19pm

    Just say you were defending your future spouse's honour. Few dildo bruises are recognizable as such. If you're still worried, have someone punch you just in case. Or - better, I think - brazen it out and announce that it was a dildo bruise.

  • 77 96
    Submitted by GingerTimelady on Jun 10, 12 at 11:07pm

    Concealer + loose powder are your best friends at this point. Also ice packs.

  • 56 67
    Submitted by tmoh on Oct 23, 12 at 3:28am

    But of course--it's a MRS-understanding.