i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
