Texts From Last Night · deliciousxxambyy's Favorites

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deliciousxxambyy's Favorites Texts:

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(620): View more from Kansas

I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.

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(315): View more from New York

i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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(949): View more from California

i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

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(765): View more from Indiana

She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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(786): View more from Florida

He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

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(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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