just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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