Texts From Last Night · blaqnbloo's Favorites

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blaqnbloo's Favorites Texts:

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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(801): View more from Utah

i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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(516): View more from New York

Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(716): View more from New York

She's like a pop up book from hell.

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