My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
