Texts From Last Night

sayyummmx's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered. http://tfl.nu/j70b
  Replies (10) Good night (7264) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3161) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice http://tfl.nu/lxs5
  Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (3273) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  watch out for the queen of hearts

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuucck i forgot ab her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat (215): watch out for the queen of hearts (610): fuucck i forgot ab her http://tfl.nu/mo46
  Replies (15) Good night (5114) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  you were mass sexting so we took your phone away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): you were mass sexting so we took your phone away http://tfl.nu/u2si
  Replies (13) Good night (4641) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available http://tfl.nu/v31e
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6176) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for http://tfl.nu/s392
  Replies (19) Good night (3452) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" http://tfl.nu/nsmf
  Replies (20) Good night (6160) Bad night (2022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation? http://tfl.nu/0dba
  Replies (15) Good night (4627) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx
  Replies (20) Good night (973) Bad night (4229)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
  Replies (90) Good night (1378) Bad night (12211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do http://tfl.nu/n44h
  Replies (40) Good night (850) Bad night (4421) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  It'll hurt less than being alone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx
  Replies (12) Good night (4339) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (704) Bad night (2940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth http://tfl.nu/po8w
  Replies (14) Good night (1899) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I forgot how few teeth there are in this state... http://tfl.nu/03va
  Replies (34) Good night (770) Bad night (4226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid? http://tfl.nu/2je7
  Replies (34) Good night (618) Bad night (5460) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord" http://tfl.nu/17lg
  Replies (61) Good night (5961) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  well i fucked her too, so yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. http://tfl.nu/6v2h
  Replies (91) Good night (1154) Bad night (8644)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/pbev
  Replies (3) Good night (5714) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): bad decision saturdays are such a good decision http://tfl.nu/ffui
  Replies (3) Good night (3351) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (48) Good night (18691) Bad night (1653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc
  Replies (10) Good night (4338) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (184) Good night (53948) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I misjudged your gender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity. (978): I guess I misjudged your gender. http://tfl.nu/83hj
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb
  Replies (26) Good night (799) Bad night (5456) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it. (719): she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her. (414): are you serious? http://tfl.nu/esul
  Replies (50) Good night (885) Bad night (18496)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to

  (1-845): View more from New York

  i wanted you to too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to (1-845): i wanted you to too http://tfl.nu/498i
  Replies (15) Good night (509) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously i just wanna be friends

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  pass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4
  Replies (39) Good night (1140) Bad night (5537) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen http://tfl.nu/1apt
  Replies (44) Good night (7674) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8
  Replies (30) Good night (867) Bad night (4575) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2
  Replies (14) Good night (5211) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time. http://tfl.nu/fjy0
  Replies (18) Good night (4161) Bad night (1683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (27354) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him. http://tfl.nu/18rr
  Replies (6) Good night (4113) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room http://tfl.nu/x49g
  Replies (5) Good night (4714) Bad night (1650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6217) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants. http://tfl.nu/sn5l
  Replies (45) Good night (22271) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best. http://tfl.nu/ljti
  Replies (20) Good night (6695) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79
  Replies (17) Good night (5433) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn
  Replies (35) Good night (1213) Bad night (6352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL. http://tfl.nu/ostw
  Replies (16) Good night (6375) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list. http://tfl.nu/jt04
  Replies (6) Good night (3569) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of. http://tfl.nu/16vh
  Replies (23) Good night (3946) Bad night (1334) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4028) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub. http://tfl.nu/91f9
  Replies (20) Good night (5207) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4446) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas. (407): i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful. http://tfl.nu/1iey
  Replies (32) Good night (10020) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/lss6
  Replies (25) Good night (5631) Bad night (3284)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson" http://tfl.nu/itij
  Replies (11) Good night (7162) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution. http://tfl.nu/ms1p
  Replies (2) Good night (1509) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids. http://tfl.nu/o5lf
  Replies (15) Good night (2929) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys. http://tfl.nu/g37d
  Replies (307) Good night (10619) Bad night (5241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1212) Bad night (2172)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How are you going to be there by 9am?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

  (646): View more from New York

  You say that like it's a positive quality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): How are you going to be there by 9am? (919): Relax I always go to these conferences hung over (646): You say that like it's a positive quality http://tfl.nu/xfjl
  Replies (12) Good night (4730) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I know, I was there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends (336): I know, I was there. http://tfl.nu/9p97
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy. http://tfl.nu/2x1u
  Replies (50) Good night (6794) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed. http://tfl.nu/4web
  Replies (6) Good night (2987) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober http://tfl.nu/mim6
  Replies (21) Good night (1451) Bad night (3910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't. http://tfl.nu/9mwz
  Replies (12) Good night (4325) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (943) Bad night (7060)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k
  Replies (5) Good night (4311) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them http://tfl.nu/zk8b
  Replies (7) Good night (2527) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy. http://tfl.nu/bldo
  Replies (18) Good night (7348) Bad night (1015) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6441) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing (248): Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa http://tfl.nu/broz
  Replies (12) Good night (931) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  May it rest in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence. (708): May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/csj7
  Replies (17) Good night (4247) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety. http://tfl.nu/meos
  Replies (9) Good night (2769) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p4s9
  Replies (23) Good night (6322) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill. http://tfl.nu/ungu
  Replies (10) Good night (4292) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. http://tfl.nu/d1e6
  Replies (111) Good night (9550) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we just fucked in the mcds parking lot

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  wasnt he a virgin

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yes we got celebratory milkshakes after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): we just fucked in the mcds parking lot (1-732): wasnt he a virgin (732): yes we got celebratory milkshakes after http://tfl.nu/wnnd
  Replies (60) Good night (12852) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (97) Good night (3913) Bad night (9305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (100) Good night (9762) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him http://tfl.nu/x0sm
  Replies (31) Good night (1246) Bad night (6055) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not. http://tfl.nu/pqqj
  Replies (32) Good night (2978) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (6667) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  someone was throwing condoms at us.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, they just magically show up around you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): someone was throwing condoms at us. (1-401): no, they just magically show up around you. http://tfl.nu/lgd4
  Replies (8) Good night (3662) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not. http://tfl.nu/y4k4
  Replies (12) Good night (1587) Bad night (5183) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically http://tfl.nu/zfwj
  Replies (27) Good night (7964) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm you met him three days ago....

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said what I said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0
  Replies (30) Good night (7051) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/k63s
  Replies (8) Good night (913) Bad night (5028) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited http://tfl.nu/vv7z
  Replies (31) Good night (7033) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her. http://tfl.nu/ymnu
  Replies (36) Good night (4329) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (8084) Bad night (2378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest http://tfl.nu/nou3
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (1756) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu
  Replies (19) Good night (3382) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal http://tfl.nu/x7fc
  Replies (19) Good night (5688) Bad night (1435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (906) Bad night (1271) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night. (1-818): Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit. http://tfl.nu/ras5
  Replies (10) Good night (896) Bad night (7106)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
  Replies (20) Good night (1712) Bad night (4674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (1995) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport http://tfl.nu/5bf4
  Replies (40) Good night (3714) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  how else could I explain the last few years

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills (262): how else could I explain the last few years http://tfl.nu/wfh1
  Replies (7) Good night (3690) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much? http://tfl.nu/y3h1
  Replies (23) Good night (2976) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4553) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor. http://tfl.nu/xv4s
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (4697)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (669) Bad night (3259) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands? http://tfl.nu/6ufe
  Replies (34) Good night (2026) Bad night (2826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra http://tfl.nu/5ubo
  Replies (25) Good night (667) Bad night (3478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7 http://tfl.nu/6n0p
  Replies (7) Good night (3357) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave. http://tfl.nu/8ei2
  Replies (12) Good night (1299) Bad night (5518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises. http://tfl.nu/xfua
  Replies (68) Good night (14052) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just cut my nipple shaving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I just cut my nipple shaving http://tfl.nu/31st
  Replies (41) Good night (337) Bad night (4641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true." http://tfl.nu/yccu
  Replies (17) Good night (5524) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

  (415): View more from California

  Watch for tornadoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf
  Replies (33) Good night (2309) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation http://tfl.nu/mdo6
  Replies (29) Good night (1547) Bad night (5720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. http://tfl.nu/eh64
  Replies (26) Good night (4825) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se
  Replies (86) Good night (13613) Bad night (2319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.

  (917): View more from New York City

  i told you we never speak of that again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something. (917): i told you we never speak of that again http://tfl.nu/ijex
  Replies (14) Good night (869) Bad night (4059)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0
  Replies (17) Good night (5691) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want... http://tfl.nu/xmvr
  Replies (35) Good night (7145) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (864) Bad night (5278)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

  (619): View more from California

  you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up. (619): you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS http://tfl.nu/a8ci
  Replies (22) Good night (6308) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3301) Bad night (8617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg
  Replies (26) Good night (943) Bad night (3759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (132): View more from

  if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (132): if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder http://tfl.nu/48fa
  Replies (43) Good night (1040) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
  Replies (34) Good night (10150) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember. http://tfl.nu/upty
  Replies (18) Good night (3915) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  all he gave me for my birthday was sperm

  (254): View more from Texas

  at least its a homemade gift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): all he gave me for my birthday was sperm (254): at least its a homemade gift http://tfl.nu/gvzk
  Replies (16) Good night (5382) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare. http://tfl.nu/5d0o
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (454)