So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
