His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat