At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section