Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.