My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I'm fucking your sister right now.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough