I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.