i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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