He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time